Dancing and Disaster: 8

The village of Silvessen turned out to be a ragged cluster of wattle-and-daub dwellings of considerable antiquity. Not a one of them had been built later than the fourteenth century, I’d have wagered. They were also in states of advanced disrepair.

We wandered down the central street, once a path of packed earth and stones, now a swath of soggy mud. Empty windows gaped in begrimed facades; thatched roofs sprouted holes where the dried rushes or straw had weathered away. Some buildings had lost their roofs altogether, their thick wooden beams exposed to the wind and rain.

‘All things considered,’ Jay said, looking around, ‘more of this is left than I’d expect.’

I saw his point. Half-ruined they may be, but if these houses were at least seven-hundred years old, and they’d been abandoned for centuries, they ought to have been rubble by now. Wattle and daub isn’t the sturdiest of building materials, even if it’s shored up with oak.

‘Em,’ I said, ‘are you getting anything?’

Emellana’s able to sense the traces of past magick, a skill popular with field archaeologists the world over. I suppose I am too, now, but not in the same way, and Em is still much better at it. She’s had practice. Years and years of practice.

‘Some preservation enchantments were in place,’ she answered, standing with one broad hand palm-flat against the whitewashed wall of a tumbledown cottage. ‘Long gone now, of course, but they would have kept these houses in decent repair for some time.’

‘Until the magick died,’ murmured Indira. Usually so self-possessed, she seemed unusually affected by the ruin around us, her eyes huge and sad in a face drawn in thought.

‘I wonder what happened,’ I mused. ‘And what kinds of people lived here.’ We didn’t know much about Silvessen, except that it had been a magickal Dell, with a settlement, once. The proportions of the buildings suggested a taller race of being had lived here; even Emellana wouldn’t have had to stoop all that much to fit through the doors. But beyond that, we knew nothing.

Emellana shook her head. ‘That I cannot tell.’

Neither could I, at least not by way of a cursory exploration. I’d need time and energy to go much deeper, and I didn’t have those things available just then.

‘It doesn’t look like anybody’s still around, anyway,’ Jay said. We’d reached the end of the main street, and unbroken moor stretched out before us, rain-lashed grasses and wind-ruffled heath and not much else.

‘In that case, I suppose we can proceed,’ I said, tentatively. I was waiting for Zareen’s verdict. She’d remained quiet throughout the whole of our exploration of Silvessen Village, but she was tense, alert; ready for something. Searching for something?

‘Wait,’ she said, softly. She was standing close to the walls of the last house on the street, looking up at the gaping remains of thatch. She didn’t elaborate, but nobody wanted to disturb her by enquiring, so silence fell.

The wind whistled as it surged down the village street, and something rattled somewhere.

I shivered.

‘I think…’ said Zareen. ‘I think there is another house.’

‘In the village? We passed some side streets, we could check—’

Zareen cut me off. ‘No. Not here. It’s, um.’ She closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they were turning darker, blackening by the moment. ‘That way.’ She pointed.

Jay and Indira exchanged a glance. ‘That’s the direction of the forest I saw,’ Indira said, and Jay nodded.

‘And in that forest, there is a house…’ Zareen’s voice had a strange, sing-song quality to it that I really didn’t like.

We all stared at her, but she said nothing else. When she looked at me, she hardly seemed to be seeing me.

The whites of her eyes were turning black.

‘Okay, Zar.’ I walked forward, slowly, until I stood about two feet in front of her, and stopped. ‘Zar, that’s great information, thank you, but you need to come back now.’

She blinked, and blinked again. Then her eyes focused on me, and the blackness receded a little. ‘Ves. Right.’ She shook herself. Her ready grin was nowhere in evidence. ‘I don’t suppose you’ve got any more halva, have you?’

Silently, I removed another plastic box from my bag and handed it over. ‘That’s the last of it.’

She took it, and devoured half of the contents on the spot. The familiar food seemed to ground her a little more, and the whites of her eyes came back. ‘Thanks,’ she said to me, and then she took off, walking fast, in the direction she’d pointed in. The same direction Indira had indicated. The place where the dark forest lay. Waiting.

I was suddenly, fervently grateful that Milady had sent Zareen with us, but of course it was no coincidence. Milady had a feel for these things. She’d proved that time and again.

***

‘So that weird feeling I was having,’ said Zareen, a little later. ‘It’s getting worse.’

We had crossed the rolling heath of Silvessen and plunged in under the trees, and I for one was having all kinds of regrets about it.

Picture the spookiest forest your imagination can come up with. Gnarled old oak and ash trees, twisted and black. A canopy so thick and dense as to block all light, shrouding the woodland in gloom. A heavy, eerie silence, broken only by your own, increasingly tentative footfalls.

Silvessen Forest had it all going on. As we delved ever deeper into the woods, we instinctively gathered closer together into a protective knot. Nobody even needed Zareen’s unique powers to detect the threatening atmosphere; it was palpable.

Worse, we were having no trouble making headway, despite the closely growing trees and dense bramble thickets. A pathway wound a meandering route deeper into the wood, a path that had no business being there; the Dell was deserted. Who had been around to use it, all these hundreds of years?

‘All right, I’ll be the one to say it out loud,’ I finally said, albeit in a half-whisper. ‘This smells like a trap.’

‘No question,’ Jay agreed.

‘But laid by whom?’ answered Emellana, and her tone was more intrigued than concerned.

She had a point. Half of me might be filled with foreboding, but the other was growing increasingly curious. Who lingered still in Silvessen Dell, and why? What were they doing in an isolated house in the depths of the creepiest forest known to man or beast?

And what did they want with us, that they had laid out a trail leading right to their door?

We trudged through wet, half-frosted earth and dead leaves for nearly half an hour, as best I could judge. Then, at last, the canopy opened up and we emerged into a wide clearing.

The house was waiting.

Dancing and Disaster: 7

The trip back to the Fairy Stone took next to no time. My trusty unicorn friend deposited me, gently, in the midst of the Seven Stones of Hordron and began to nip listlessly at the grass thereabouts. I could understand her lack of enthusiasm. I wouldn’t want to follow a meal of delicious, greasy chips with a snack of brittle, half-frozen grass, either.

I didn’t dismiss her, just yet. She wasn’t only my friend and occasional mount. She was my Familiar, and I was also hers, in a way. We were a team, closely bound, and if anybody could help me talk to the Fairy Stone, it would be Addie.

‘Okay, so,’ I told her as I approached the gate. ‘Here’s the problem, dear heart. This lovely stone stands between us and Silvessen, and I can’t get it to talk to me. It’s been asleep for a really, really long time, and it’s probably forgotten what it was like to be a magickal portal to a thriving enclave. It’s just a lump of rock now, like the rest of these. But I need it to be a gate again. Just for today. What do you think?’

Addie didn’t answer, of course. I’ve been trying to teach her some English, but we haven’t got any further than wheehehe, which I choose to interpret as a gleeful ejaculation, but who knows.

She lay down, though, right next to the Fairy Stone, with her gleaming hide pressed against it.

I took this as a hint, and followed suit. We formed a snuggly cluster of three — me and Addie and the moss-ridden Fairy Stone — and quiet descended.

Go deeper, Ophelia said. Between the echoes.

I shut my eyes, and sought for those faint, barely discernible echoes of long-lost magick I’d detected earlier. There they still were, right on the edge of my senses, like trying to hear somebody talking from a long way off. I focused. Maybe if I concentrated harder, I could hear the words…

They weren’t words, of course. Not exactly. But the longer I sat in silent meditation, the clearer the echoes became. Fragmented wisps of memory, in scents and tastes and colours. A fragrance of cherry-blossom and almonds, and cold lakewater. A brackish taste on my tongue, and then a sweet one. A glimpse of a green freshness, sun-drenched; a star-washed night, warm and then freezing and then neither.

Memories of Silvessen, long ago. Sensations and sights and tastes that had been brought back over that threshold, by those who had once passed through it. The Fairy Stone remembered.

So did I.

I drifted, lost in memory and dream. I was ancient and boundless. I was earth and rock and rainwater. I was magick and music and the echoes of things long-lost.

And then I was grabbed and roughly shaken, possibly even a little bit slapped, and I opened frost-crusted eyes and blinked them blearily at the foggy shape of a someone vaguely familiar.

‘Ves.’ Jay bent close, looked long and deeply into my eyes. ‘Ves, I need to know you’re still in there. Talk to me.’

I tried, honest. I managed to make my lips move, a little, but my face was frozen solid and I couldn’t even produce a croak.

Jay shook his head. He looked angry, and I wanted to apologise, even if I didn’t know what for.

But then he grabbed me, hauled me close, and wrapped both arms tight around me. He was warm, like cuddling a radiator, and he began rubbing my arms and back, roughly, chafing my flesh.

Slowly, warmth and feeling crept back in.

‘Jay,’ I croaked.

He let out a sigh. ‘For fuck’s sake, Ves. You couldn’t have waited for us?’

I stirred in his arms, but he didn’t release me. That was okay. I didn’t want to be released, yet. ‘I thought it would take a while,’ I managed to utter. ‘And I couldn’t sleep, so I thought…’ I didn’t know how to finish that sentence in a way that might satisfy an enraged Jay, so I didn’t try.

I peeped over his shoulder. There was Em, standing right behind Jay and watching me with palpable concern. So were Indira and Zareen, faces etched in a slowly fading horror, and if I’d even scared Zar then obviously I had messed up.

‘Sorry,’ I muttered.

Jay sighed again. To my surprise, he grabbed my head in an ungentle grip and planted a resounding kiss on my face. ‘Well,’ he said, in a calmer tone. ‘You’ve done it, so there’s that.’

‘Done what?’ I withdrew from Jay, reluctantly, but he had pulled back, so I sort of had to.

‘You mean you don’t know?’ That was Zareen, whose fear had sunk into something more like annoyance.

I hauled myself to my feet, slowly, painfully. I felt a thousand years old, and consequently was grateful for Jay’s steadying grip on my arms. A glance around revealed nothing of note. ‘Maybe someone could humour me, and explain.’

‘This is it,’ said Jay. ‘We’re in Silvessen.’

I took another look around. Morning had broken, as the song goes, so I could see more of the landscape than I had last night. But what I saw was a rolling landscape of moor and heath, which looked right, and there was the Fairy Stone, right where it had been last night.

It took me a moment longer to realise that the other stones weren’t there.

‘Oh,’ I said.

Zareen laughed. ‘Only you could spend all night trying to open a dead gate, fail, and then turn yourself into a new one by accident.’

‘And then not even realise,’ put in Indira, with unusual vehemence. She was staring at me with more than a little awe, which was odd, because I’m more used to looking at her that way. She’s the star pupil around here, not me.

‘I did what?’ I croaked.

Jay let go of my arms, me being more or less stable by then. ‘I got your message,’ he began. ‘Bright and early, thankfully, because if we’d been much later you’d probably have frozen to death. Or not. I mean, rocks aren’t especially vulnerable to the elements, are they?’

‘Rocks?’

‘Rocks,’ Jay repeated, grimly.

I looked pleadingly at Emellana. ‘Could somebody please just tell me what happened. Use small words. I’m tired.’

‘When we arrived here,’ Em answered, ‘we couldn’t find you. Naturally we were concerned. Indira thought perhaps you had found a way into Silvessen after all, but Jay felt that you would have come back through and awaited us, were that so. Zareen grew concerned that you may have gone through and been unable to come back, which naturally increased our fears for you. Only belatedly did we notice that the Seven Stones of Hordron had increased in number.’

That filtered through. ‘I turned myself into a rock,’ I said.

‘Not just any rock,’ Jay said. ‘A Fairy Stone. Because when I touched it I vanished from Hordron Edge and arrived in what I’m guessing is Silvessen. The others followed. And then we spent a solid half-hour trying to figure out how to turn you back into Ves.’

This was a lot to take in. My sleep-deprived, half-frozen and only partially thawed brain struggled to keep up. ‘I have no idea,’ I finally offered, that being the best explanation I could come up with.

‘You don’t know how you did that,’ Jay clarified.

I shook my head. ‘Addie was here. Maybe she turned me into a rock.’

‘Doubtful. This is something to do with your Merlin powers, isn’t it? Ophelia gave you an idea.’

‘I did call her,’ I agreed. ‘She told me to look for echoes. Memories. And the Fairy Stone remembered what it once was, and I… suppose I got caught up in that.’

Jay just nodded. I suppose it wasn’t worth his while to tell me what an idiot I’d been, or how close I’d come to remaining a Fairy Stone for the rest of my life. I was sufficiently alive to the horror of that idea.

‘How did you revive me?’ I asked.

‘In the end, brute force.’ Jay looked a little uncomfortable. ‘Nothing else worked.’

‘You slapped me?’ I thought I’d felt something like that.

‘No!’ said Jay, horrified.

‘I kicked you,’ Zareen clarified.

She didn’t look like she regretted it, so I patted Jay’s arm. ‘It’s okay. I barely felt it.’

A backpack lay on the ground, not far from Jay’s feet. It was a cheap canvas thing and had the look of a recent purchase about it. I noticed all this because Jay stooped, opened it up and retrieved several paper-wrapped bundles from inside it.

These he piled into my arms.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said, vaguely. ‘I got you these.’

‘You had remarkable forethought,’ I replied, somewhat distracted, because the parcels smelled pungently and sweetly of almonds.

I opened one. Inside, a thick pastry case contained a filling my nose informed me was predominantly composed of almonds.

‘Is this… Bakewell tart?’ It smelled like it and looked like it, sort of. But not entirely. The crust was puffier than the ones I’d got from Kitchen, and the filling looked denser and squashier.

‘Bakewell pudding,’ Jay answered. ‘Tarts are not the authentic, traditional form, or so the baker informs me.’

To my surprise, Indira handed me another paper parcel. That one contained a shortcrust concoction that looked much more familiar. ‘The bakers don’t seem to agree about that,’ she said.

I counted. Ten. Ten Bakewell somethings. ‘I shall now eat two of these,’ I informed the company. ‘Because rocks may be impervious to the elements, but I certainly am not. And then we’ll explore.’

They’re large, Bakewell puddings. You would think it would be difficult to fit two in me at once, but not when I’ve spent most of the night as a functional gateway to a lost magickal realm.

Having consumed enough sugar and pastry to power a rhinoceros, I felt better.

‘Right, then,’ I said, dusting off my hands. ‘If we could—’ I stopped, because while I’d been absorbed in pudding, Indira had gone right ahead without me. She was hovering about ten feet off the ground, hanging there with the grace of a dragonfly, and turning in slow circles.

The rest of our merry band was clustered beneath, looking up at her with (variously) curiosity, interest and anxiety. Maybe a little awe. Most people can’t levitate like that.

‘There isn’t much,’ Indira called down. She began to descend, very slowly, one arm extended all the way out. ‘But there’s something. That way. I can see rooftops.’

Jay smiled at me as I approached. ‘We thought we’d better check for residents before we start,’ he explained. ‘Just because nothing’s been reported about this place in a long time, doesn’t absolutely mean that nobody lives here any more.’

‘Good thinking.’ I felt somewhat bemused. I’d been so focused on the pastries, I’d missed the entire conversation.

Perhaps Ophelia’s lessons were paying off, far better than I’d ever imagined possible. I really had focus now.

Indira landed lightly upon the frost-tinged grass, hugging her dark coat closer around herself. She was shivering. I suppose it would be a little colder up there, right in the path of the wind. Or perhaps levitation at that level took more energy than it appeared to.

‘Nothing else?’ Emellana enquired.

‘Not that I could see from there. Just more heath. Some wooded land, that way.’ She gestured. Apparently this woodland or forest wasn’t in the same direction as the buildings she’d seen.

‘Let’s check out those roofs you saw,’ Jay decided, picking up his backpack.

‘Moment,’ I said, looking at Zareen. ‘Zar, are you sensing anything… I don’t know, weird out here?’

Weird,’ she repeated. ‘You mean like, ghosts and ghouls dragged screaming from unquiet slumber and bent on our destruction?’

‘Pretty much exactly like that, yep.’

‘Not yet.’

I permitted myself a small sigh of relief. ‘Great.’

‘I’ll let you know when I do.’

My relief withered and died. ‘When?’

She shrugged. ‘I’ve got a feeling.’

‘A weird feeling?’

‘Uncanny, bordering upon eldritch.’

‘Super.’ I hefted my own modest bag of supplies, wishing I’d brought quite a few of Ornelle’s jealously guarded magickal trinkets after all. I wasn’t sure I was ready for eldritch.

Zareen’s response to everyone’s palpable discomfort was a wide grin. ‘Don’t worry. That’s why you’ve got me.’

‘And you are scary beyond all reason,’ I agreed. ‘That being the case, would you maybe like to go first?’

‘Hey. You’re the one wielding indescribably ancient magick of awe-inspiring power.’

‘You must be thinking of Indira,’ I murmured, striding forth with what I hoped was a confident step. ‘She wields magick to precise and devastating effect. I fumble magick, make a mess of it and occasionally luck out anyway.’

‘Occasionally,’ Jay said, nodding gravely. ‘Yes. That coincides exactly with my general observations of your success rate.’

I lifted my chin as I stalked past him. ‘Just don’t blame me when this all goes spectacularly pear-shaped. I did try to warn you.’

Dancing and Disaster: 6

Bakewell’s popular with tourists, but not so much in October, so rooms were plentiful. Except, of course, it was stupid o’clock and tiny country towns don’t have the kinds of places where you can get a room at any hour of the day or night.

So we couldn’t get in to Silvessen and we couldn’t get anywhere to sleep, either. So far, so disastrous.

Luckily, we had Emellana Rogan with us. If she isn’t the most well-travelled woman on the planet, it has to be a close contest.

‘Just a minute, then,’ she said, once we’d crossed Bakewell twice looking in vain for a “rooms available” sign with lights in the windows. She gestured in the direction of the dark and barren fields, bordered with drystone walls, that ringed the raggle-taggle cluster of buildings. ‘Plenty of space out there. Come on.’

I squinted, as though that might help me see farther into the darkness. ‘Space?’ I echoed. ‘For what?’

But Em had already set off, and the rest of us had to work hard to keep up with her long stride. She led us on a forced march for some two or three minutes, then stopped in the midst of what felt to my feet like reasonably soft grass.

‘We’re sleeping here?’ said Indira, doubtfully. ‘Just on the ground?’

I could sympathise with her obvious discomfort at the idea. Indira struck me as a fastidiously neat person; rarely had I seen her with so much as a hair out of place.

Me, I was more worried about the cold.

Emellana smiled enigmatically, and gestured again, a gesture I might have termed flamboyant if it had been anybody but self-contained Emellana who’d made it.

The air rippled, folded itself up, and became a tent. A glorious tent, expansive and inviting, wrought from some airy and ethereal fabric most pleasing to mine eye.

It was warm, too, as I soon discovered. We piled inside to find blankets and pillows laid out in five bundles, and not only did the tent protect us from the freezing wind, it also seemed to be gently heated.

‘Ms Rogan,’ I said fervently. ‘You are a queen amongst women.’

She actually laughed at that, a little. ‘I consider it a fair trade for spiced honey cakes,’ she informed me.

‘Ooh, good point,’ said Zareen, flopping down into a nest of blankets and extracting her boxes of goodies.

‘So you’ve employed this trick before,’ I surmised around a mouthful of Bakewell tart.

She inclined her head. ‘Only when there is no other choice. It is rather draining.’

‘Where did you learn it?’ asked Indira. ‘I’ve never come across such an art.’

Emellana finished her cakes and lay down, stuffing two pillows under her head. ‘I learned it from a silk-weaver in Hangzhou.’

Indira said nothing, but her face was hungry, like she’d eat the whole of Hangzhou alive if doing so would procure her its secrets.

‘Not yet,’ said Jay, shaking his head at his sister. ‘You haven’t got time.’

Indira sighed in agreement, and flopped into her blankets.

‘Time to sleep,’ I decided. ‘Big day tomorrow.’

Awfully sensible of me, wasn’t it? Right up there with all that going to bed early I’d tried to do earlier in the evening.

But despite the delicious comfort of my blankets and pillows — almost as good as a real bed, you’d hardly know you were lying on cold, damp grass — I couldn’t sleep. My mind turned and turned upon the problem of the Fairy Stone, and the foolish promise I’d made to solve it post-haste.

Promises are dangerous things. They’re only made of words, and I’ve been forming sentences for a while now. Too easy to make.

Keeping them is the harder part, but one rarely thinks about that while uttering grandiloquent oaths. Whatever confidence I’d felt an hour ago had disappeared somewhere.

I couldn’t sleep because I didn’t have time. My team were relying on me to get them into Silvessen, and whose fault was that but my own? I’d borrowed Merlin’s arts for exactly this reason, and now I had to work out what to do with them.

Stifling a sigh — it wouldn’t do to wake my compatriots as well as failing them — I got up again and crept out of the tent.

The clouds were clearing and the sky was a veil of stars. I stood looking up at them for some time, hoping some Muse of Magick would bless me with a flash of conveniently timed insight.

Nope.

‘Fine,’ I muttered, extracting my phone.

It may surprise you to learn that Ophelia owns a phone. It certainly surprised me. It isn’t that she eschews modern conveniences altogether, despite the antiquity of her cottage. But she rarely bothers with them, and you know why? Because she doesn’t need them. What do you need a fridge for if you’re Merlin? She’s got storage boxes that keep food chilled and they’re powered by magick, not electricity. Why do you need an oven or a gas-powered stove when you can summon as much fire or heat as you like with a flick of your fingers? Ophelia’s kitchen is marvellous because she’s marvellous.

Phones, though. She might be able to communicate over long distances in magickal ways, but most of the rest of us can’t. So she keeps a mobile.

In a drawer. I found it a few weeks ago, buried under a stack of papers and unrecognisable paraphernalia and clearly untouched in some time.

I took it out and quietly placed it somewhere a bit more obvious. I don’t know what premonition made me do that, but I blessed my accidental forethought now as I stood in a field in Derbyshire, half-frozen and out of ideas, and hoped she’d consent to answer the thing at three in the morning.

She did. Eventually.

‘Ves?’ she said, crisply. Not sleep-fuddled. Probably up late working on some new, brilliant potion.

‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘I know it’s obscenely late.’

‘‘What’s the problem?’

‘It’s the gate into Silvessen.’ I gave her a speedy precis of the situation, then waited impatiently through a rather long silence from the other end.

‘It’s completely dead?’ she said at last.

‘Seems to be. I can’t find so much as a stray thread of magick in there, and I couldn’t get it to accept any of mine, either.’

‘It’s not like a battery, Ves. You can’t just recharge it.’

‘So I discovered.’

She was quiet again for a time. ‘It is a conundrum,’ she allowed. ‘The gate is inactive because Silvessen Dell is a dead enclave. Were the enclave revived, so too would the gate be, but you need to revive the gate in order to access the Dell.’

‘That’s about the size of it.’

‘Jay cannot assist you, I collect?’

‘If there is a Way-henge inside Silvessen, Jay can’t find it. Probably for the same reason.’

‘Hm. Then you’ll have to go back a bit.’

‘Back? Back where?’

‘Think of Farringale and Baroness Tremayne.’

Hm. Baroness Tremayne, a troll noblewoman who’d survived the death of Farringale by centuries. In a manner of speaking. ‘Between the echoes,’ I said. ‘I still have no idea what that means.’

‘It is about memory. And dream.’

‘I hate to keep being such a downer, but I have no idea what that means, either.’

‘You probably do, Ves. Didn’t you tell me you detected a memory of magick within the Fairy Stone?’

‘Yes…’

‘The Stone remembers what it once was. Somewhere, between the echoes of memory and time, there’s a thread you could use.’

‘All right, thank you, but how do I find it?’

‘Go deeper. Remember what I’ve been teaching you.’

Deeper. Hm. I thanked Ophelia with as much grace as I could muster (which was less than she deserved, but what can I say? It was three in the morning, I’d hardly slept, and I was badly feeling the pressure) and hung up.

Go deeper. Right.

Sleep being out of the question, I didn’t bother returning to the tent. Instead I sent a text to Jay’s phone. Meet me at the Fairy Stone, it said. Bring sustenance.

Then I trudged wearily out into the grassy field. When I judged I’d put enough distance in between me and both the tent and Bakewell, I retrieved my syrinx pipes and played Addie’s song.

My glorious unicorn Familiar answered promptly, as she usually does. I still had her bag of chips about me, even if they were cold by now. She didn’t mind. I admired her rippling, pearly mane and gleaming silvery hide as she devoured my offering of peace and friendship, and then I was up on her back and we were galloping away.

Two or three strides in, Addie spread her beautiful wings and away we flew.

Dancing and Disaster: 5

This statement disconcerted Indira, who, of all those present, probably understood me the least.

‘It’s okay,’ Jay reassured her. ‘This is Ves. Her idea of evil is making people eat too much cake. Or turning your hair fabulous colours without telling you.’

I frowned. ‘I’m sure I could think of something more diabolical than that.’

‘When you do, I’d be delighted to hear about it,’ said Jay. Words that would, probably, haunt him someday soon.

Indira just shook her head. I think the gesture meant “I give up trying to understand this” more than an utter rejection of my entire personal worth, but one never knows.

‘I, for one, am entirely in favour of Evil Ves,’ said Zareen. ‘I see honorary membership of the School of Weird in your future. School tie and and everything.’

‘Hey. Weird and Evil aren’t the same thing, Zar. Haven’t you kept saying that.’

‘Maybe I was lying.’ She shook out her green-streaked black hair, smiling with cat-like satisfaction. ‘I’m Evil like that.’

‘Anyway,’ said Emellana, mildly intervening. ‘Shall we go?’

‘Onward,’ I said. ‘Right after I pick up our picnic from Kitchen.’

‘Ves,’ said Jay, with a faint sigh, ‘we aren’t delving into the frozen wastes, battling for survival against the uncaring elements. There’ll be food.’

‘You said that so beautifully.’

‘And it made not the slightest difference to you, did it.’

I beamed at Jay and exited stage left, en route straight to the pantry.

***

I met up with the rest of Team Unstoppable outside the House. Not at the front door, obviously. That would be far too mundane. I found them skulking in the cellar, as befit such a shady mission. They were gathered around the Way-henge, Zareen leaning casually against the wall, Indira standing stock-still and tense in a corner, Emellana apparently thinking of something else entirely, and Jay pacing up and down, his phone in his hand. Everyone looked up sharply as I barrelled through the door, then relaxed when they saw it was me.

‘Okay,’ I panted, having done a wee bit of running on my way downstairs. ‘I’ve got something for everyone.’

‘Samosas?’ said Jay.

‘Check. Bhajis for Indira.’

Indira actually smiled, a bit. Nothing like food to cheer people up.

‘Halva for Zareen.’

‘Pistachio?’

‘Of course.’

I was instantly divested of the article in question, Zareen snatching it out of my hands like a greedy child, and disappearing it with a flick of her fingers. Only a swirl of shadow remained where the halva had been, and that soon dissipated.

‘And since I love you,’ I added. ‘I also got sholeh zard.’ I handed her a Tupperware container, within which a golden and fragrant pudding lurked.

Zareen eyed me suspiciously, though she snatched the container. ‘I begin to think you’re buttering me up for something. What’s the catch?’

‘You’re welcome,’ I said, ignoring that. ‘Em, I wasn’t sure what you’d like but they told me these spiced honey pastries are popular at Court right now.’

‘There are people manning the kitchen at this hour?’ Emellana looked either impressed or appalled, I couldn’t decide which.

‘Well, there’s Magnus. Nobody can persuade him to sleep.’ I handed her a waxed paper bag. ‘And for me, Bakewell tarts.’

‘I smell something deep fried.’ Jay ostentatiously sniffed the air.

‘Chips for Addie. If we need her, I don’t want to have to explain why I didn’t bring her a picnic too.’

‘Right.’

‘Again.’

Jay inclined his head. ‘Okay, enough dawdling, we’re going.’

He said that ringingly, and with purpose, so I was puzzled when he returned to his phone and remained deedily occupied.

‘I’m sure she’ll wait,’ I said, when a few minutes passed.

‘Who?’ Jay didn’t even look up.

‘The, uh, person you’re dating.’

He did look up, then, but only to crook an eyebrow at me. My cunning attempt to find out more about Jay’s mystery woman (about whom he had been notably tight-lipped) went unanswered. ‘I’m finding the way,’ he said.

‘With the Wapp!’

‘The— the what?’

‘The Way-App. The Wapp. You know?’

He stared at me, and blinked.

I began to feel uncomfortable. ‘What?’

Jay shook his head, a gesture remarkably similar to his sister’s quarter of an hour before. I might be the death of these Patels. ‘I’m wondering,’ he said, putting his phone away in a pocket.

‘Wondering what manner of merciful death I deserve?’

‘Wondering why I didn’t think of that name myself. Come on.’

I was grabbed, and firmly escorted into the henge. Zar and Em and Indira came forward, and we did a circle-of-hands thing. The Winds of the Ways began to swirl around my feet, the sense of building magick grew, and honestly the whole thing seemed very Captain Planet to this child who’d always wanted to summon the power of Heart. And there were five of us. Coincidence? I think not.

Jay’s obviously the power of Wind. Emellana is Earth, with her solid-rock steadiness. Zareen is as changeable as Fire, so that leaves Water for Indira. Not a perfect fit, but Indira’s good at literally anything that doesn’t require her to talk, so she’ll run with it.

I was mentally casting Alban in the role of the Captain when the Winds reached screaming-pitch, and we whirled away.

***

‘It’s funny you should have brought Bakewell tarts,’ said Jay, once he’d got his breath back.

The comment passed me by, at first, for we emerged into a darkness so blank I felt a momentary panic. Rarely does one encounter such pitch blackness; there’s usually light somewhere, even in the depths of night, even if it’s only a faint glow. But tonight, the moon lay sulking behind a thick cloud cover and wherever we’d fetched up was obviously far from civilisation.

I collected my wits, always rather scattered after a jump through the Ways, and mustered a glowing ball of light. The ravenous darkness swallowed its soft, genteel glow, and I hastily summoned several more. Only once I had the place properly floodlit did I register Jay’s remark.

‘Why’s that funny?’

‘Because we’re not far from Bakewell.’

I took a long look around.

We had appeared in the midst of a proper, proper henge, none of those underwhelming types where there’s nothing to see save a slight mound or two. Several ancient, craggy stones over half a metre tall surrounded me in a wide circle, dark and moss-covered. Beyond them stretched a ragged moor, scrubby with grasses greenish and tawny-brown.

Bakewell. Derbyshire.

‘We’re in the Peak District?’ said Zareen.

‘We are. And this is Hordron Edge, otherwise known as the Seven Stones of Hordron.’

I shivered as he spoke, mostly because of the brisk midnight winds sweeping over the moor. Maybe a little bit with fear. I hadn’t forgotten the impenetrable, blinding dark. ‘That sounds suitably mystical,’ I said, hoping, as I often do, to ward off fear with flippancy.

‘Head west a bit and you’ll hit Ladybower Tor.’

‘Charming.’

‘And for Zareen’s interest, Cutthroat Bridge is over there.’ Jay pointed off into the darkness.

Zareen grinned. ‘Already I’m liking this place.’

‘And Silvessen?’ said Indira, all business as usual.

Em hadn’t spoken. I noticed she had taken up a station by the largest of the visible stones, a great, mossy outcropping fully a metre tall. She’d placed one hand against the stone, and stood with her eyes closed.

I drifted that way. So did Jay. ‘Found something?’ I asked.

‘Wouldn’t be surprised,’ Jay put in. ‘They call this the Fairy Stone.’

‘For good reason,’ said Em, without opening her eyes. ‘Whatever magic once flourished here is long, long faded, but I can feel traces of it, still.’

I hesitated, then laid a hand against the Fairy Stone myself. I’d tried this trick before, without much effect. Whatever arts Emellana (and my mother) employed to sense long-past magick, I didn’t have them at my disposal.

But now I was a walking reservoir of incredibly ancient magick and things were different. The stone thrummed under my fingers, a faint, distant pulse, like the echo of a failing heartbeat.

Realisation struck. ‘This was once a gate.’

‘The gate to Silvessen, specifically,’ said Jay. ‘And our first objective is to figure out how to get through it.’

I realised he was looking at me.

So was Emellana. And Indira, and Zareen.

I felt a stab of regret. If I hadn’t mentioned my borrowing of Merlin’s powers, maybe I wouldn’t be so thoroughly on the spot now.

I didn’t have the faintest idea what to do.

‘It’s not like I can just, tell it to open,’ I tried to explain. I could say this with authority, because I’d been trying.

‘I don’t know how these things work,’ said Jay, shrugging.

‘Me neither.’ Zareen sat down with her back against the Fairy Stone, and shut her eyes. Maybe she needed a nap. It was pretty late.

Indira hovered nearby, patently deep in thought, but since she said nothing I concluded that she, too, was stumped.

I stared, pleadingly, at Em.

‘The gate is long closed,’ she said. ‘Sealed. I would say it has been hundreds of years since it was last opened.’

‘And there’s no magick left here,’ I put in, gloomily. It wasn’t magick I was feeling in the stone; only a memory.

Jay stood with his hands in his pockets, frowning at the problem. ‘Could you maybe… add some?’ he said, looking at me.

‘Me personally?’

He shrugged. ‘You’re full of lyre-magick from the Fifth Britain, and Merlin’s powers to boot. If anybody can, it’d be you.’

True, that, but I couldn’t say I had a great deal of control over it. Odd things happened when I touched things, sometimes, and of course there was the whole turning-into-a-unicorn thing. But the things I touched had to have some kind of magick or potential of their own before anything much would happen, and the unicorn thing only came about when I was in Addie’s glade.

The Fairy Stone may have enjoyed a glittering past, but today it was dead as a dodo.

‘I’m not fully trained,’ I apologised. ‘If there’s any reviving-of-ancient-gates in my curriculum, we haven’t got to it yet.’

Jay looked disappointed. I could understand why. If you’ve brought the embodiment of ancient British magick along on your quest, only to find that she can’t open an ancient magickal gate, that’s a bit of a downer, isn’t it?

‘Maybe… if we use the regulator.’ That was Indira, so softly spoken that the wind almost whipped the words away.

‘Good thought,’ I allowed, cautiously. ‘If it’s the loss of magick that turned this gate into a dead lump of rock, maybe a revival of magick could reverse the effect.’

‘But we were supposed to deploy that in Silvessen,’ Jay disagreed. ‘This isn’t Silvessen. We’re right out in the regular world, in the open. It’s risky. And I’m not sure it would even work.’

‘Then it will have to be Ves.’ That was Emellana, sounding vaguely amused, I wasn’t sure why.

Jay and Indira both looked at me, and waited.

I thought I heard a faint snore from Zareen.

‘I can’t do it,’ I said, trying to sound calm. ‘At least, not immediately. I need some time to think about it.’

And maybe call Ophelia. I didn’t really want to have to call for help five minutes into our mission, that was embarrassing, but going home in defeat because we couldn’t pass the first obstacle would be significantly more so.

Jay nodded, agreeably enough, but I noticed he’d begun to shiver. ‘How long do you think that will take?’

‘Too long for us to stand out here while I do it. I’ll make you a deal.’ I took my hand off the Fairy Stone, though my fingers continued to thrum faintly. ‘Take us to Bakewell. Let’s find rooms for the night, get some sleep. In the morning, feed me sumptuously on Bakewell tart — the proper, authentic kind — and I promise to come up with the answer.’

Jay held out both of his hands. ‘All aboard the Patel bus, leaving for Bakewell in three minutes,’ he announced. ‘Or, close enough.’

Clinging to the prospect of sweet, almond delights to sustain me, I permitted myself to be whisked away, trying not to quail too badly under the foolhardy promise I’d made.

Idiot.

Dancing and Disaster: 4

‘So, how do we do this?’ I asked.

‘Oh, you want to do it now?’ Ophelia seemed surprised.

‘I don’t see why not. It’ll give me a little time to get used to everything before we go.’

She nodded, and without another word she advanced on me with, apparently, serious intent.

I experienced a flicker of nerves and an odd impulse to back away. She was giving me what I’d asked for, so what was I worried about? I suppose I’d expected more argument, more discussion, more delay. But no, here she came, it was about to happen, what if I really wasn’t ready—

‘Oh,’ I said, stupidly, because she’d bent slightly to press her lips to my forehead, and that really hadn’t been what I was expecting. At all.

And that seemed to be it, for she withdrew, leaving me to process a burgeoning feeling of — disorder.

‘I didn’t, um. I didn’t know it would make me feel sick,’ I croaked.

Ophelia had withdrawn as far as the other side of the room. Now she came back, and put into my hands a handsome copper basin.

‘I believe you will find this useful,’ said she.

And, promptly, I did.

***

I went to bed early. The sickness took a few hours to fade, and though, in the wake of it, I felt more restored to my usual self — if a bit swollen, like an overfull sponge — well, I still felt shaky. Vomiting a lot does that to a person.

Besides, I had a big day coming up, after all. A big week, maybe even two. Going to bed early and getting plenty of sleep would be the responsible thing to do, wouldn’t it? The sort of thing an adult, capable, sensible Ves would do. So I did that. Feeling, may I tell you, rather smug about it.

I woke up abruptly, groggy and heavy-eyed, not because my alarm was singing to me but because my phone was. Loudly.

Someone was calling.

Also, someone else was looming over me in the nearly pitch dark and urgently shaking my shoulder.

‘Sorry,’ muttered Jay, stepping back. ‘Ves. Stop screaming. It’s me.’

‘Jay, what—’

I didn’t finish the sentence because he was shoving my phone into my hands. I looked at the lock screen.

An antique silver chocolate pot was there displayed, steam curling from its spout.

Milady calling.

A different kind of panic clutched at my heart. ‘What is it? What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing’s wrong. You’re just late.’

Having uttered these words of doom, Jay retreated.

Late? For what?

‘Hello, Milady,’ I said into the phone, speaking very calmly despite the pounding of my heart. I was late. Late for something Milady wanted. Shit.

‘I apologise for the lateness of the hour,’ said she, crisply.

‘It isn’t… morning?’ I said, fuzzily.

‘It is ten minutes after midnight and you are needed downstairs.’

Typical. The one time I act like a grown-up and go to bed early, then I’m called for a secret meeting at midnight.

‘I’ll be right down,’ I promised.

‘We’re waiting in the parlour.’ She hung up, before I could ask where “the parlour” was.

I knew though, really. There’s only one parlour at Home where Milady might hold a top-secret meeting at the Witching Hour.

House’s Favourite Room.

I threw back the duvet and launched myself out of bed.

***

I made it downstairs in record time, so it was a particularly unfortunate time to get lost in the labyrinthine corridors of House.

In the end, they sent Jay out to find me.

‘Sorry,’ I said, feeling flustered. Jay had been obliged to come and find me twice in fifteen minutes, and the first time I’d screamed in his face. I now stood in the midst of a crossroads, with three passages branching off from it, and I genuinely couldn’t remember ever having seen such a place before in my life.

Maybe I hadn’t. House has its mysterious ways.

‘To be fair,’ said Jay, gently taking my arm, and towing me down the left-hand fork, ‘I ought to have waited.’

‘What’s going on?’ I asked, trotting gamely beside Jay as he whisked us both past innumerable doors, all closed. ‘What’s the meeting about?’

‘Sh,’ Jay breathed. ‘You’ll find out in a minute.’

My, it really was a top-secret meeting. I obediently shut my mouth, and didn’t open it again until Jay thrust open a door and led me into House’s favourite room. It’s a snug little chamber, dating from somewhere in the sixteen-hundreds, and unchanged since. It has the type of grandfather clock that’s determined to be heard over any amount of noise, and I could clearly hear the resonant tick-tick of the clock over the low murmur of conversation.

Gathered around the little white tea table, deep in mugs of hot chocolate, were: Indira, Zareen and Emellana Rogan. Em had seated herself beneath a gilt-framed portrait of a troll lady in seventeenth-century court dress; the same kind I’d recently worn myself, at Mandridore. I couldn’t remember ever seeing that painting before, and I wanted to ask about it, but this meeting was both secret and urgent and that’d have to wait for another time. Focus, Ves.

‘Aha,’ I said, taking an empty chair across from Zareen. ‘Team Improbable assembles once again.’

I heard Jay snort as he took the chair next to me. ‘Speak for yourself. I prefer “Team Unstoppable”, thanks.’

‘So far, so good,’ said Zareen. ‘We remain unstopped.’

‘Which is the subject of this meeting,’ Milady put in. ‘Tangentially, at least.’

I wondered idly why we were all having this conversation in the dead of night, in a room whose existence is unknown to the majority of our esteemed colleagues.

Then I decided to be less idle about it.

‘This whole thing is developing a pleasing air of Mission Impossible,’ I observed. ‘High stakes. Dream team. The toppest of top secret.’

‘It has come to my attention that rumours of Orlando’s work have penetrated considerably further than I had anticipated,’ agreed Milady. ‘And since I can no longer guarantee that such rumours will not spread beyond the borders of the Society, I have felt obliged to take further steps to preserve the secrecy of your assignment.’

In other words: a previous mission had gone rather awry when somebody (who shall remain nameless) had passed information — and other things — to Ancestria Magicka, people who ought by rights to be our allies but whose methods and goals made them soundly unpopular with us.

And since Ancestria Magicka had made it their business to interfere with us at every opportunity, Milady wasn’t taking any chances with this one.

‘How about the Court?’ I asked, looking at Em.

‘As far as is generally known, I am away consulting on a routine matter of little import,’ she replied. ‘Unrelated, I might add, to the Society.’

‘So you arrived here in the dark of the night and snuck in?’ I asked. ‘That’s fantastic.

Em awarded me one of her faint, wry smiles. ‘It was rather fun.’

‘How far will this misdirection work?’ Jay put in. ‘After all, everyone seems to know that the regulator’s ready. And then the Dream Team, as Ves put it, is immediately dispatched to parts unknown, taking Orlando’s assistant along? The connection’s obvious.’

‘Indira has put it about that you and she are going home for a family event,’ said Milady.

‘She has?’ Jay sounded startled, as well he might. His sister’s talents may be myriad, and uniformly impressive, but talking wasn’t one of them. Let alone telling glib and convincing lies to good effect.

Indira unwittingly bore out this portrait of her character by saying nothing. She only looked rather uncomfortable.

‘I, meanwhile, am feeling terrible,’ said Zareen. ‘It’s been a real struggle being back at work, so I am checking myself back in to rehab at the School of Weird. In fact, I left yesterday.’

‘What about me?’ I put in, in rather a small voice. I’d already gone through the list of believable excuses that might be spun to explain my absence from Home, and it was pretty short. If I wasn’t at Home, I was out on assignment for the Society. That was it.

‘You are presently engaged in a solo assignment in Leicester,’ Milady informed me. ‘Tracking down a rare book of possible interest to Valerie.’

‘Oh, that was a kind thought. Val will enjoy lying for me.’

‘In fact, you also left this evening.’

‘So my continued presence at Home is shrouded in such mystery even I didn’t know about it. Masterful.’

‘So we’re sneaking out in the morning,’ Jay concluded.

‘In fact,’ said Milady, ‘you’re sneaking out in thirty-five minutes.’

‘What?’ I sat up. ‘But we’re not ready.’

‘All necessary preparations have been made.’

‘I’m sorry to be the problem person, but I haven’t finished my preparations.’ I thought I’d have time in the morning to perform the chaotic ritual I like to call “packing”.

‘House has packed your things,’ Milady informed me.

After over a decade at the Society, I thought I was incapable of being surprised any more. It seems I was wrong.

‘My clothes have been packed by a country house,’ I said, just to make sure I’d got that right.

‘I trust you will find everything in order.’

‘I cannot say that the question of House’s gender has ever troubled me much, if it can be supposed to have one,’ I mused. ‘But if someone’s been going through my underwear drawer then I hope she’s a lady.’

Milady let that pass, with her usual superb grace. Or, possibly, indifference. ‘Indira has secured the regulator from Orlando,’ she continued.

I had thought Indira looked unusually tense, even for her. She sat ramrod straight, with her hands clasped tightly together, and I suppose I’d attributed this to the startling news that she’d recently been obliged to lie through her teeth to her esteemed colleagues.

But, no. She had the regulator. She probably had it on her right now, for there was no way anybody was going to take that thing out of Orlando’s secure workroom and then leave it lying around somewhere.

I now perceived that she had the wild-eyed look of a woman sitting on an unexploded bomb, and everything made a lot more sense.

I tried to soothe her with an encouraging smile, with the usual lack of effect.

‘Can I see it?’ I blurted.

Indira shook her head. ‘It’s secured.’

That told me exactly nothing, but okay. I wouldn’t be seeing the device until we were ready to use it.

‘Your instructions are as follows,’ continued Milady. ‘Proceed to Silvessen with all possible caution and secrecy. Please conduct a thorough appraisal of the conditions there, to be submitted via report upon your return. If you judge it safe, then Indira will deploy the regulator. You will remain long enough to observe its effects and manage any unforeseen occurrences. Once you are certain that Silvessen is hale and secure, you will remove the regulator and return Home.’

We had questions.

‘Caution?’ said I. ‘Are we expecting some kind of threat?’

‘Unforeseen occurrences?’ asked Jay. ‘Like what?’

‘Remove the regulator?’ said Em. ‘Surely that would defeat the purpose.’

Milady waited until we had finished and coolly replied: ‘Caution is always wise, Ves, even if the concept is somewhat alien to you.’

Fair cop.

She added, after a moment, ‘And I cannot guarantee there will be no threats. The enforced secrecy of this mission is a consequence of that.’

Fair cop again. Lovely.

‘Jay, if occurrences are defined as “unforeseen” then they are, by definition, a mystery. I leave it in your capable hands to manage anything that should prove troublesome, and to maximise your chances of doing so successfully I have assigned you Zareen.’

Zareen grinned. ‘Don’t worry,’ she murmured to Jay. ‘I’ll look after you.’

Jay scowled. But it was a measure of his improved relationship with Zareen that he stopped there.

‘As for removing the regulator,’ Milady continued. ‘Yes, its removal will in all likelihood reverse whatever effects its installation might produce. And if those effects are desirable, then it will be a pity to do so. But this is only a prototype, and your assignment is only to test it, and deliver a full report of its workings to Orlando’s department.’

Emellana accepted this with a nod.

‘Are there any other questions?’ Milady waited, politely, while we all scrolled through myriad possible enquiries, and dismissed them as unworthy of her attention.

‘Very well, then,’ she concluded. ‘I wish you all possible success, and please do exercise caution.’

We filed out, rather like a class of dismissed schoolchildren.

Only once we had put some distance between ourselves and the parlour — and, hopefully, Milady’s capacity to overhear — did I own up.

‘I have something to tell you,’ I said, in a half-whisper.

Jay cast me a sideways look. ‘Is this something to do with your abrupt and dramatic disappearance into Ophelia’s cottage earlier?’

‘Yes, and thank you for not haring after me.’

‘I was tempted.’

‘But you accepted that Ves cannot be stopped, and abandoned all pursuit as futile.’

‘Exactly. So what dark deed did you commit?’

‘I’ve, um,’ I sunk my voice even further, ‘I’ve borrowed Merlin’s powers.’

Jay stopped dead, halfway down a chilly corridor, and stared at me. ‘Borrowed.’

‘Yes.’

‘Like an old coat.’

‘It fits pretty well,’ I said, defensively.

‘I have questions,’ said Jay.

‘Me too,’ put in Zareen. ‘Why did you do that, Ves? Do you know something we don’t? Expecting something we can’t handle?’

‘No, and no,’ I said firmly. ‘It’s as Milady said. We can’t know what to expect. And, anyway, I wanted an opportunity to try things out in the field.’

‘And Merlin let you.’ That was Jay, solidly disbelieving.

‘She did.’ I flexed my fingers, which were tingling a bit with suppressed energy. ‘If this is borrowing a coat, it’s a supercharged dreamcoat of dizzying potential and I may be experiencing some regrets.’

Jay smirked, the weasel.

‘I’m sure you will put it to good use,’ said Em, bless her. How loyal.

How naïve.

‘Oh no,’ I said, beaming. ‘I have every intention of using my powers for Evil.’

Dancing and Disaster: 2

‘You look like a parti-coloured rain cloud,’ was Zareen’s comment upon my appearance at her door.

She has a little cupboard of a room in the west wing, sort of near the library. It stood empty for over a month while Zareen was off enduring — er, benefiting from — her own, post-mission treatment back at the School of Weird. If I’ve had a tough time of it lately, try talking to Zar. By the end of a certain few, chaotic weeks, she was half out of her wits and I hadn’t seen the whites of her eyes in a while.

She’s better now. I think.

‘I’m grumpy,’ I agreed, plopping down into the only unoccupied chair in Zareen’s tiny little room. I produced a few raindrops in illustration of my point, and they rained with cheerful greyness all over the faded crimson carpet.

‘Let me guess…’

She was lounging in her chair as was her usual wont, her booted feet up on a corner of her disordered desk. The green streaks in her black hair were brighter than usual; freshly dyed. She’d lost the inky shadows under her eyes, mostly, and she was a normal-for-her kind of pale, not bone-white.

Most of all, she’d got her withering sarcasm back, as she proceeded to demonstrate.

‘Word is the regulator’s ready for testing, which ought to please you. But you’re not pleased. So, you’re officially too special and important to be sent out with it, is that it? Poor Ves.’

I glowered at her. ‘Milady’s reluctant to interrupt my studies.’

‘With Merlin. The actual, literal Merlin, with whom many a person would kill to study.’

This is what I like about Zareen. She’s bracingly realistic.

‘You make a good point,’ I allowed.

‘I’ll swap places with you.’ She laughed at the look on my face, showing off a new tongue stud: poison-green and glittering. ‘Not for real. It’s not like Ophelia wouldn’t notice.’

‘No, that’s actually a great idea,’ I said earnestly. ‘Merlin’s got such a lot to teach. Everybody should benefit from it. Not just me.’

‘Said in no selfish spirit whatsoever.’

‘Zero self-interest involved,’ I agreed. ‘Not one iota.’

Zareen shrugged. ‘I wouldn’t say no to a lecture or two, but good luck getting it past Ophelia. And Milady.’

Ophelia was rather retiring. Curiously so, for a person with her kind of power. She was obviously most comfortable in her own cottage, teaching one person at a time (preferably me). She wasn’t the type to volunteer herself as a lecturer.

I had a notion Milady might like the idea, however.

‘Wouldn’t get me out of Tuesdays, though,’ I said, regretfully. ‘I want only one glorious, glittering week…’

‘Risking your life for the good of Queen and Country?’

‘See. You get me.’

Zareen shook her head. ‘Ves. Can you think of even a single time someone has seriously said no to you?’

I sat up a bit. ‘Loads. Milady often says—’

She held up a hand. ‘I’ll rephrase. One single time someone has seriously said no to you, and you didn’t just go and do it anyway. And get away with it.’

I dutifully thought.

‘Nope.’

‘There you go.’ Zareen quirked a brow at me.

I took this to mean, Go do your Ves thing.

She was right. I was going, one way or another. I’d rather do it with Milady’s official sanction than without, but whatever.

I felt better.

‘Hey, maybe we can take you along, too,’ I offered, brightly smiling. My idea of gratitude. Not everybody appreciates it.

‘Seems unlikely there’d be cause,’ was her only reply. And she had reason. I mean, Zareen’s particular talents might more rightly be termed peculiar.

That said.

Famous last words. 

***

I worked my magic on Ophelia next (the charismatic kind, not the enchantment kind. The former might not succeed, but the latter would get me squashed like a bug).

I found her intransigent.

‘But you’d be wonderful,’ I protested, smiling in the face of a flint-eyed glare from my usually mild-mannered tutor. ‘Think how much everyone would learn!’

I’d hopped through to the Merlin cottage via the personal gateway I have in my room. Ophelia made it for me, even drew a pretty silver star to mark the location. I chose to interpret that as a mark of special favour, not merely a practicality. I mean, she could have just drawn a big, black ‘X’.

I found her engaged in study, as was common. That, or she was indulging in her secret(ish) passion for Georgette Heyer novels. She was tucked up in an overstuffed armchair and I couldn’t see much of the book she was clutching, except that it looked rather ragged.

Having swept in like the whirlwind I am, I’d started arguing for the lecture immediately. ‘Ophelia! Zareen and I had the best idea.’

It all went downhill from there, but, to be fair, that was according to plan.

‘I am no lecturer.’ Ophelia shut her book with a decisive, and disapproving, snap. I caught a glimpse of the title before she hid it away. The Talisman Ring. ‘And,’ she added, somewhat ruining the impact of a statement so sternly intoned, ‘Merlin’s arts are not for everyone.’

‘True,’ I agreed. ‘Just for you. And me.’

She looked at me with an expression I tried not to interpret as second thoughts on that latter point.

‘I understand,’ I said hastily. ‘Wouldn’t dream of pushing.’

She waited, sceptical.

I suppose, after a couple of months, she’s getting used to me.

‘Can I have next Tuesday off?’ I said, possibly rushing my fence a bit. ‘And maybe the one after that?’

She blinked, and her hauteur deepened. ‘For what purpose?’

‘There’s an important assignment I need to be involved with. Might take a week or two.’

‘Oh. Of course.’

It was my turn for a surprised silence. ‘Really?’

‘Certainly. I am not so stern a task-master as all that, I hope. There is time.’

‘Oh. Well. Thank you.’

She studied me. ‘Your first proposal was a deliberate attempt to unsettle me so I would agree more readily to your second.’

I opened my mouth, hoping some glib defence would spring easily to my lips.

It didn’t.

‘You needn’t have gone to such lengths. While the prospect of your temporary absence seems trivial in comparison with the horrible prospect of my performing lectures for the benefit of a hundred reluctant students, I would have agreed anyway.’

‘I see that now,’ I said in a small voice.

‘Consequently, the complimentary nerve-shattering was unnecessary.’

I mulled that over. She was right. Why had I imagined I’d have to manoeuvre her into it? It was Milady who arranged my schedule — and held decided opinions about it, at that.

Perhaps I’d got so used to dealing with my mother, I’d forgotten that not everybody said ‘no’ as a matter of course.

‘I apologise,’ I said. ‘Another time I will simply enquire.’

To my relief, she began to look more amused than affronted. ‘I perceive that few people ever really refuse you anything,’ she said, curiously echoing what Zareen had said earlier in the day.

I began to wonder if I was viewed as a spoiled, wheedling child by the Society at large, and decided not to pursue the subject any further.

‘Just my mother,’ I offered. ‘It doesn’t stick.’

***

Three days passed; days in which Indira remained close-mouthed about the regulator, Milady did not summon me for a mission briefing, and Jay did not return.

By Friday my mood had gone from grey and drizzly to storm warnings, take cover.

By Sunday I was out in the unicorn grove, sulking. I’d love to say something more flattering, like, acknowledging my feelings and engaging in judicious self-care, but I was sulking. The ears were down, the tail was drooping, I was eating grass, for goodness’ sake.

So when Jay suddenly appeared, the sun came out again in my sad little world and I went to meet him all a-frisk.

‘And there she is,’ said Jay, striding into the heart of Addie’s grove and smiling. I think. I may not have mentioned this, but human expression can look a little different when you aren’t presently being one. The stretching of Jay’s face in sideways directions, the baring of the teeth; these registered with me as good and odd in about equal measure.

I gambolled coquettishly towards him, tossing my mane. If there was a just goddess in attendance then there ought to have been an opportune gust of wind at just that moment, blowing back my hair, and a ray of sunlight like a star gleaming at the tip of my horn.

There probably wasn’t.

There definitely wasn’t, for Jay’s smile disappeared and he took a step back. ‘Wait. Are you okay? What are you doing? Is there something wrong with your legs?’

I suppose unicorn mannerisms are no more easily comprehensible to a human. So much for my joyous prance of welcome. I sniffed and shoved him with my nose.

He grinned and stroked it for me. ‘Do you fancy coming out, or should I come back next week?’

I answered this question by setting off for the exit at a brisk trot. Jay had to run to keep up with me, which he did with enviable grace. He looked good. Like always. Dressed in jeans and his beloved black jacket. Slightly tousled hair, but the look suited him.

‘Great, so,’ Jay said, keeping pace with me without apparent effort, ‘what do we know about Silvessen?

What? I shook my head. Nothing. What are you talking about.

‘That’s what I thought. Which makes it the perfect choice, I suppose, because if even you don’t know anything about it then probably no one’s very attached to the place. Means we can do some pretty thorough testing and just, see what the results are, no great pressure. I— uh, Ves? Wait?’

This speech confused me to the point of frustration, for I had no idea what he was talking about and no way of saying so.

So, I took off for the exit at a dead gallop, leaving Jay to high-tail it after me. So to speak. Oh, what kind of a unicorn would he be, if he could be one? Dark and sexy. No question.

Having wound my way through the maze of silver-leaved bushes, roses that shouldn’t have been in flower, draping willow trees and other faerie paraphernalia with practised ease, I raced over the threshold of Addie’s grove and collapsed in a Ves-shaped heap on the other side of it.

Jay took another couple of minutes to reach me, time which I spent checking that my clothing was correct (yes), arranging my disordered hair (important) and regaining my composure.

So, when Jay burst out of the grove, looking windblown and wild-eyed and, I judged, confused, I was able to say, with a certain icy cool: ‘Testing? Testing what?’

‘The, um. The regu— Milady hasn’t told you?’

‘No. She has not.’

Jay stopped dead. ‘Oh.’

Oh indeed.

This was it, then. My request had been denied. I’d been excluded from the mission I had a unique right to be part of — even Milady had agreed that no one was better suited to the job.

And, okay, I was going to find a way to go along anyway, sneak if I had to. But, still. Everyone else thought I should be left out.

I felt like I’d been punched.

‘It’s… probably because of your training,’ Jay offered. ‘It’s really important.’

‘That’s what Milady said, when I asked her if I could go last week.’

Jay nodded. ‘It is really important,’ he said again.

I felt too forlorn to reply. I wasn’t even angry, just gutted. Jay was going, Indira would be going, someone from the Troll Court, most likely — maybe even Emellana Rogan, my personal hero.

And I’d be stuck at home, going deep with myself so I could understand just how much magick and lacerated feelings were lurking down there.

‘I’m sorry, Ves,’ said Jay, apparently reading some fraction of this in my face.

I nodded and turned away. Back Home, then. I had homework for Ophelia that I hadn’t finished, because I was hoping I wouldn’t need to for a couple of weeks. Then, on Tuesday, lessons. Or… or a rule-and-law-defying stealth pursuit of Jay’s mission to Silvessen.

I was losing my enthusiasm to even try the latter — and that wasn’t good.

Jay walked beside me in silence for a couple of minutes. I wanted to ask him how his latest assignment went, or how he was doing today, but words didn’t come.

Eventually he said, ‘No. You’re right, it isn’t okay.’

‘What?’

‘You should be with us.’

I tried a smile. ‘Surely the law-abiding Jay isn’t suggesting I break ranks and hare off after you.’

‘I’m not suggesting that.’

‘Oh.’

‘I’m suggesting I’ll refuse to go unless you’re coming too.’

‘Oh!’

I sneaked a sideways look at Jay. He had his mulish face on, jaw set, eyes steely.

‘Jay,’ I said. ‘I appreciate that.’

He merely nodded, brusquely, and strode on.

This time, it was me who had to trot a bit to keep up with him.

Dancing and Disaster: 1

The jumping pas de sissonne was lovely, but it wasn’t until Jay executed a passable saut de basque sodecha that I knew we were likely to win. He soared about six feet up (aided, conceivably, by a wee touch of levitation magick), performed a three-sixty-degree pirouette in mid-air while doing the splits, I mean, I ask you. Who could possibly top that?

Not our opponents, anyway. No chance.

‘Let’s not get too comfortable,’ I warned a winded and sweating Jay. ‘More to come.’

Jay hadn’t the breath to speak, but the look he gave me said enough.

‘Not yet,’ I said, soothingly. ‘Rest first.’

I waited, with a hopeful smile, as Jay fought for breath. When, at last, he stopped gasping for air, he said, ‘No. No. Next time’s your turn.’

‘That’s fair,’ I said, cautious-like.

‘I want a double tour en l’air, at least, Ves.’

‘No can do.’

Jay looked at me.

‘I might be able to go as high as a single.’

‘Ves, I’ve just performed any number of manoeuvres of which I am not capable and my poor body will be paying for it for weeks.’

‘Sorry,’ I said, momentarily shame-faced. ‘But you looked fine.

Jay was not mollified. ‘Double tour en l’air.’

‘Okay.’ I was meek and contrite. ‘Anything for you.’

Jay shook his head. ‘I’d ask how we even got here,’ he panted, turning away from me. ‘But what would be the point? We followed Ves. That’s how we got here.’

Since you might be wondering the same sort of thing, permit me to explain myself.

It wasn’t entirely my fault. Honest.

***

The regulator is ready.

October came. Mid October, when the intense heat of summer had finally packed itself off and I’d spent several weeks as an apprentice to Merlin (yes, the Merlin, even if she wasn’t quite as most of us expected). It was going pretty well, but we weren’t done, not by a long shot.

Time waits for no man, however, and neither does Orlando, for the rumours started to circulate. The regulator is ready.

It’s supposed to be a top-secret project, of course, so there shouldn’t have been hearsay. Where there’s life there’s gossip, though, and there’s plenty of life at the Society.

‘Is it true?’ I asked Milady. She hadn’t summoned me. I’d invited myself, clambered all the way up the stairs to her tower-top room, knocked on the door, then waited over half an hour for an invitation to enter.

What can I say. I’d spent weeks and weeks at Home, and, while I’d had the by no means uninteresting diversion of Tuesdays at Merlin’s cottage to entertain me, I was starting to get antsy. I was brimming with a small fortune in magick and I had nothing much to spend it on.

I’m a tool. Use me.

‘I require more information in order to answer your question, Ves,’ said Milady. ‘Is what true?’

‘You know what I mean.’ I said this in a half-whisper, aware that I was dealing in information contraband.

Milady did not dignify this comment with an answer.

I kicked at the rich, blue carpet with one toe, feeling uncharacteristically annoyed. ‘The regulator,’ I said, capitulating. ‘I hear it’s ready.’

‘Oh? And where did you hear that?’

I had to think for a second. ‘Not Indira, of course. She’s far too good to break faith with Orlando. But Nell mentioned it at lunch. And Luke at breakfast. And I heard Molly and Dave H. talking about it in the common room. Oh, and Aki said—’

‘I see.’ Milady sounded weary. The Society might be full of brilliant people doing important work, but we were like a bunch of rowdy, recalcitrant children sometimes. Poor Milady’s hair must be grey to the last strand. I heard her take a deep breath. ‘Officially, I can confirm nothing.’

‘Of course.’

‘But off the record, yes. Orlando has recently informed me that he has a functional prototype and he feels it will soon be time to test it in the field.’

Test it in the field. Words to strike delight into the heart of a Ves, and probably a Jay, too. Maybe. Hopefully. I bounced a bit on my toes. ‘I volunteer!’

‘I am well aware of your right of interest in this matter, Ves.’

That wasn’t quite a yes. I frowned. ‘You… you are planning to send me on this mission, aren’t you?’

‘How are your studies with Ophelia progressing?’

Not an answer. This didn’t bode well.

‘Excellently,’ I said, with perfect truth. ‘She’s very patient with me.’

I make myself sound like a difficult student, but I’m not, not really. Not in the usual fashion. I am just eager, and brimming with enthusiasm, and I want to know everything yesterday. One cannot learn all of Merlin’s myriad and ancient arts by last Tuesday, however, even with the best will in the world. Ophelia-who-is-Merlin bears gracefully with my impatience. Usually.

‘I am reluctant to suspend your studies at this time,’ said Milady.

My heart sank.

‘It would only be for a little while!’

‘It may not be. Your future role as Merlin is important.’

‘So’s the regulator! And who better than Jay and me to test it? We’ve been part of this from the beginning. We know everything about it. Who could possibly do a better job?’

‘No one, Ves, that I grant you. Nonetheless—’

‘Please,’ I interrupted. ‘Please?’ My heart was dropping through the floor, and I was becoming seriously worried that Milady might leave me out. Might even send Jay and Indira without me.

There are times when I’ll beg, if I have to. I’m not proud.

‘I will consider the matter.’

I hoped I didn’t imagine the slight softening of her tone.

Pity that she’s a disembodied voice. I couldn’t read her face to determine how sympathetic she was to my cause.

‘I’ll be on my best behaviour,’ I promised. ‘Strictly no shenanigans.’

Well, it wasn’t really a lie. I said it in good faith. At the time.

***

To be honest with you, I’d said my studies with Ophelia were going well, but it’s a little hard to gauge my actual progress.

She wasn’t really teaching me anything solid. It’s not like there’s a set curriculum for Merlinhood, with a couple of exams at the end, so I know when I’m ready. She was teaching me along more abstract, wishy-washy — one might even say airy-fairy — lines, like: how to go deep with myself, so I truly know where I’m at and what I’m capable of. How to sense and manipulate my own magick, on a far deeper and more complex level than I’ve ever even heard of before. How to understand my own capacity — and safely exceed it, at need. How to sense and manipulate magick external to myself. How to draw on the world around me. And a fair bit of what one might call magickal ethics, according to Ophelia’s admittedly peculiar world view.

It’s not quite what they teach you at the University.

I’m already a far better practitioner than I used to be. I used to need a little magickal Curio to change the colour of my hair, as simple a thing as that is. I don’t need such tools now, to the probable relief of Ornelle at Stores. The number of objects I need to, er, borrow from the Society’s stockroom in order to do my job has drastically decreased.

But when it comes to Merlin’s arts, the small stuff is inconsequential. Ophelia is teaching me to handle big stuff with big magick and I have no idea when that process will be complete.

To be even more honest, I’m not in a hurry for that day to come. Eventually, she’ll decide I’m ready, even for the really big stuff. I’ll be given the keys to all the ancient magick she possesses, trusted to use my powers for Good, not for Evil, and then… she’ll disappear.

Leaving me to fight the good fight for British magick without her guidance.

Gulp.

Maybe I wasn’t sorry for the prospect of a temporary suspension of study. It’s been an overwhelming few months. I’ve changed in ways I never imagined possible. I’m wielding far more magick — and far more responsibility — than I know what to do with.

It’d be nice to put it all down for a week or two and go back to being Just Ves again. Just a field agent with the Society for Magickal Heritage, surrounded by my excellent and capable peers, achieving remarkable things in unorthodox ways and making stuff happen.

Blissful thought.

I wanted to talk about it.

Jay was out on a research trip with Melissa’s team again, so I couldn’t bitch at him about the unspeakable trials of my life.

Val was closeted with Merlin’s grimoire, the loan of which I had successfully negotiated with Ophelia and Crystobel Elvyng. I had thereby secured Val’s Eternal Gratitude for myself, which was no inconsiderable blessing. I had by the same means lost her attention for the foreseeable future, which was a pity.

I could go and talk to Rob. I’ve been doing that quite a lot, lately. He’s a good friend and a good doctor and he has a nice, calming way about him that’s very much appreciated in a crisis.

I’ve also had a few appointments with Grace, our head-rearranger, and she’s excellent too. But they both use words like anxiety and coping systems rather a lot (usually prefaced with words like “unhealthy”). Much as I appreciate their help, their approach is medical rather than friendly; they treat my conditions rather than sympathising with my plight. If I wanted someone to bitch with, Rob wasn’t going to be the ideal choice.

So, I went down to the Toil and Trouble division.

Alchemy and Argent: 1

‘Cordelia Vesper,’ said Valerie, in the resonant tone of a disapproving headmistress. ‘You are bored.’

‘I deny it,’ I said instantly.

Val looked pointedly at my desk, and all the evidence to the contrary strewn across it. I’d adopted an out-of-the-way nook in the library at Home, tucked under one of the big, bright windows overlooking the sun-baked grounds. The window was wide open, letting in all the intense heat of mid-August and an occasional, desultory stir of air. Not enough of a breeze to cool me down. More than enough to cause havoc among the thousand or so sweet wrappers littering my desk top.

‘I got hungry,’ I said, as a faint puff of wind whisked a few more onto the floor.

Val folded her arms. Ordinarily stationed at her enormous desk at the entrance to the library — where she was on guard as much as on duty, nobody touched Val’s books without permission and expected to get away with it — she had floated through in her imposing green velvet chair to come check on me.

If only she could have done so back when I’d still been industriously employed. Like, about three days ago.

I gazed back at her innocently, and thumped the top of my respectable-looking stack of books. ‘Lots of good stuff happening.’

‘Excess of sweets,’ said Val, pointing. ‘Dearth of notes. Phone. Far too much staring out of the window. Need I go on?’

She was right on all points. My notebook, optimistically opened at a clean page, had exactly three words written in it (“Nicolas Flamel sucks”). My phone lay on top, screen on, currently displaying an ongoing text conversation between me and Alban that had not, to my regret, received any new instalments since Monday.

And I had been staring out of the window. It was the heat that did it, I swear. I wore the airiest summer dress I possessed (pale blue silk), and my hair (silver this week) was scraped up off my neck, but nothing could keep me cool in thirty-four degree heat. Not even in the great stone pile that is Home.

I drooped in my chair. Busted. ‘All right, all right. I’m bored out of my skull. It’s been two and a half weeks, Val.’

Her brows rose. She looked cool as a proverbial cucumber, her dark skin free of the perspiration so unbecomingly glimmering upon my own, her black hair elegantly swept up and frizz-free. Is there a charm to keep cool in summer? Why hasn’t anyone ever told me? ‘Whatever happened to Library Fiend Ves?’ said she.

She had a point. The old me would never have got bored in a library like this. What was wrong with me.

I opened my mouth to defend myself, came up with nothing, and shut it again. ‘I’m the worst person alive,’ I said instead. ‘All that time complaining that I wanted to come Home, and now look at me. Bored.

Val softened. ‘It is understandable. After weeks on end of wild adventures and daring deeds, the change of pace has been abrupt.’

Maybe that was it. Out on the Fifth Britain, chasing down the clues we need to halt the decline of magick, I’d felt like I was really doing something. Something important.

It was harder to feel the same way about combing through dusty old books, considering that the vast majority proved to have nothing useful in them at all.

‘I’m addicted to danger,’ I sighed. ‘Hooked on adventure. The new Ves needs peril and adversity to thrive.’

‘I think you were getting tired of that, too,’ Val justly observed.

‘You’re right. Nothing pleases me. I’ve become a monster.’

She grinned. ‘Why don’t you take a break?’

‘Nooooo.’ I sat up, wielding my pen with intent.

‘Why not?’

‘This is an important job, and we haven’t made much progress on it. I just need to focus.’ All this started a few weeks back, when Val uncovered no fewer than two ancient alchemists — self-professed — who claimed to have performed wonders regarding ordinarie metals such as sylver or gould given magycke beyond their common bounds. Sounds promising, no? But one turned out to be about as magickal as a lump of plastic; his books were essentially fiction. The other had been a trail that simply dried up. Only the one reference to magycke sylver was ever made in Valentine Argentein’s book, and Val had drawn a total blank on finding out anything else about him at all. It was as though he had existed only to produce one weedy little pamphlet and then vanished into thin air.

That and the improbably pertinent surname meant that the name Valentine Argentein was probably a pseudonym of some kind, but for whom? Nobody knew.

 ‘No progress?’ Val sniffed. ‘Speak for yourself.’

I dropped the pen again. ‘What? What did you find out?’

Val’s chair drifted nearer. ‘Nicolas Flamel,’ she began.

‘Argh,’ I said.

Nicolas Flamel,’ Val repeated, ‘May be of some use after all. Yes, I know he’s credited with far more than he probably achieved, almost certainly did not create any “philosopher’s stone”, and is highly unlikely to have discovered an elixir of immortality.’

‘I wish people would stop obsessing about him,’ I grumped, sourly eyeing my book stack. You read about alchemy, you’re going to read about Flamel. Every. Single. Time. And no one can even agree about whether or not he had any magick. He was most likely irrelevant to our entire investigation, but continued to obtrude, like a fourteenth-century French wall I couldn’t see around.

‘He is insufferably boring and cannot be defended for his omnipresence,’ Val agreed, possibly with a shade of sarcasm. ‘But, his connections are beginning to interest me. For example, did you know he was acquainted with Mary Werewode?’

‘Mary Werewode— hang on—’ I groped for my notebook, and flipped feverishly through its pages. I’d come across that name before, buried in an otherwise underwhelming book called The Principles of Alchymistry. ‘Right. The lady laughing stock.’ She’d been a low-ranking noblewoman in the late 1300s with an interest in natural philosophy. Society at the time wasn’t so forgiving of women taking an interest in anything but home and hearth, so that might have been reason enough for her reputation. But what I’d read of her did sound pretty bizarre. For example, she believed that bathing naked under the full moon would restore her youth — something about absorbing the gentle radiance through her bare skin.

I can tell you, there’s nothing in either science or magick that would allow for that. More’s the pity.

Val, though, was grinning, a rather devilish expression. ‘You should know, Ves. The shining lights of history were often considered cranks in their own time.’

‘So Mary Werewode wasn’t a crank?’ I perked up. If there was the smallest possibility that a spot of naked moon-bathing would take a few years off me, I was up for it.

‘I don’t know yet,’ Val cautioned. ‘But Flamel is said to have corresponded with her, which means maybe she wasn’t just spouting hot air. None of those letters seem to have survived, but there is one point of possible interest.’ She set before me a slim volume, leather-bound and crusty with age. It had the delicate, feminine look of a ladies’ journal.

‘This is nowhere near old enough to be Mary Werewode’s,’ I said.

‘It actually belonged to Cicily Werewode, who identifies herself as Mary’s descendant. She appears to have been a great admirer of her great-great-grandmother’s work, and expressed a strong desire to reproduce it.’

I eyed the book, sceptical. ‘And Mary Werewode corresponded with Flamel. Are we talking more elixir-of-immortality nonsense?’ Alchemists of the past seem to have come in two kinds, according to my reading. The kind that chased after elixirs and philosopher’s stones — Flamel-style — and who possessed no actual magick with which to do it; and the kind we were more interested in, the witches and magicians of the past who had some magickal talent to bring to bear. It was the latter kind I’d been chasing, and failing to uncover. The lead-into-gold crowd had completely co-opted the term Alchemy, and even hundreds of years later that’s all anyone talks about.

I suppose the big question is: was there any overlap between the two? I couldn’t answer that one either.

‘According to what she says,’ insisted Val, perhaps noticing my slight abstraction. The heat, I tell you. It turns my brains to cotton-wool. ‘Mary had no interest in the elixir of life, or any of that guff.’

‘I find that hard to believe. She was known for trying to spin youth from moonlight.’

‘Yes, but Cicily claims she deliberately spread these absurd notions about, in order to conceal what she was really doing.’

‘You mean she wanted to be known as a crank?’

‘The practice of alchemy didn’t always make a person popular,’ Val said. ‘That might be one motive.  And then, she may not have wanted to run the risk of someone else taking credit for her work.’

‘You mean like somebody male.’

‘It was a thing that happened.’

‘Tell me about it.’

‘Anyway, if Cicily is to be believed, nothing we’ve read about Mary Werewode had any basis in reality. Cicily was certainly a practitioner of magick, and she says Mary was, too. She claims her great-grandmother was a pioneer of magickal alchemy, preceding James Fryelond and Florian van der Linden by almost fifty years. And her speciality?’ Val paused for effect.

‘Yeeeees?’ I said.

Silver,’ said Val. ‘Which, according to Cicily, was another reason why Mary was laughed at. What kind of an alchemist wants to make silver when you could be making gold, or better yet diamonds?’

‘The kind who knew about moonsilver!’ I grabbed for the little book. Carefully. ‘Hey, I wonder if her moon-bathing had some kernel of truth to it, too. Maybe she wasn’t spreading absurd stories about herself. Maybe they were the truth, but they sounded so insane nobody believed them.’

‘The word moonsilver seems to be specific to the Yllanfalen,’ Val said, shaking her head. ‘Cicily never uses it, and we have no reason to think Mary did either. So, probably not.’

‘Damn.’ Something about the very craziness of the idea appealed to me. ‘Val, I swear you’re a marvel. Where did you dig up this gem?’ The two men she’d named, Fryelond and van der Linden, were legends in magickal alchemy (as far as that ever went) and as such had been our starting points. We’d both read their books from cover to cover, forwards and backwards, hoping to find something about magickal silver. But neither of them had even touched upon the subject, preferring only marginally successful attempts to turn pebbles into the kinds of imbued jewels Wands are made out of. We’d hit a wall. Again.

Had Val found a way forward?

‘An obscure mention of an obscure mention,’ said Val, shrugging. ‘You know how that goes. I followed a trail through some journals and treatises, tracked down a surviving copy of this book in the catalogue of the Magickal Archives of the City of York, and requested a loan. It arrived this morning.’

And there you have it. Val is the best historical detective in the known world. ‘Can I read it?’ I asked, tenderly stroking the cover.

‘You can, but I’ve already compiled notes about the salient parts. And I really think you should take a break.’

I looked sadly at the little book. I still wanted to read it, but Val was right. With cotton-wool for brains, I probably wouldn’t achieve much by doing so.

‘I take it the answers we want aren’t in here,’ I said. ‘That would be far too easy.’

‘No, that’s the frustrating part. We know from Cicily that Mary Werewode devoted many years to the alchemical study of silver in some fashion, but Cicily is vague on the details.’

‘Damn.’

‘But.’

I held my breath. I love it when Val says something fabulously erudite, if disappointing, followed by a qualifying but. Some marvellous twist is always coming.

‘This journal was written when she was a very young woman,’ said Val. ‘Scarcely twenty. She’d been investigating Mary’s work for less than a year, and as yet I have no idea what became of her afterwards.’

‘Ooooh.’ My imagination raced away, picturing all the fabulous things Cicily Werewode might have gone on to do in the 1600s or whenever it was she’d lived. Perfected her ancestor’s moon-bathing technique. Created reams upon reams of magickal silver, and helpfully left the recipe lying around somewhere for us to find. Discovered the elixir of immortality, and used it.

Regretfully, I discarded all my ideas. If she had done any such things, she would be a legend.

Unless… unless she, too, had kept her endeavours a secret.

Never mind. We had a trail to follow, and Library Detectives Val and Ves were on the case. I perked up. ‘Why was it in York?’ I said. ‘Is that where the Werewodes lived?’

‘Pertinent question, Ves,’ said Val. ‘I wondered that, too, and I’m looking into it.’

‘I could look into it!’ I beamed hopefully.

‘You could, if you weren’t just about to take a break.’

‘But—’

‘Go get some air, Ves. You look like a wrung-out dishcloth.’

‘Ouch.’

‘Harsh, but fair.’ Val retrieved Cicily’s journal, smoothly rotated her chair, and floated off back to her desk.

I hauled myself up from my chair, paused while my overheated head swam and my vision blurred, and finally stumbled my way towards the door. If I had to take a break, well then Jay was going to take a break with me.

The Wonders of Vale: 20

‘I’m a butterfly,’ I said in wonder.

No, I didn’t. I tried to speak, but seeing as I was lacking the right mouth parts, nothing much emerged.

I was also wrong, as soon became apparent, for no butterfly had gnarly, greeny-browny, webby toes and a fierce hunger for fresh, juicy flies.

‘I’m a toad,’ I said. ‘With wings.’ No words emerged that time either, but my tongue did. It went a long, long way out, and returned with a fly stuck to its tip.

I didn’t want to swallow that fly, but I did.

Yuck.

Pros to the situation: me and my bosom companions (and Miranda) were no longer pinned at the edge of the hilltop of Mount Vale, a steep drop behind us and an angry mob before us. We were airborne; soaring through the dulcet skies; wafted upon wings wrought of Orlando’s weird magick. (Did it have to be a toad, Orlando? Really?)

The cons? Those same dreamy skies happened to be filled with a swarm of griffins, recently released from slavery and absolutely hopping mad.

Orlando!’ I screamed (in my head) as I ducked the advances of the nearest griffin, tumbling head-over-wings in my haste to escape its snapping beak. Boy, do those things look big when you’re that small. ‘This is not my idea of good luck!’ I only belatedly recalled that Orlando hadn’t said anything about good luck. The word he had used had been chaos.

To say the least.

I risked a glance around, first chance I got, and was not reassured. A wooden bucket full of soapy water drifted past me; had to be one of us, surely, but who? Jay, Em or Mir? At least they weren’t edible. On my other side, though, was an oversized fairy cake, unusually buoyant, and doubtlessly delicious; and beyond that, a small memorandum book, covers flapping like wings, its pages rapidly turning damp and soggy in the never-ending drizzle.

The bucket up-ended itself, pouring its load of soap and water out onto the ground far below. Then it darted in my direction, and scooped me up.

I fell into the bucket’s depths with a plop.

All right, so I couldn’t see a thing, and had to just trust that the bucket was the current shape of someone I knew and trusted. But! Woodish bucket walls are griffin-proof.

I permitted myself a small sigh of relief — and narrowly avoided a squashing as the fairy cake hurtled down upon me from above, followed by the memorandum book.

Looking at the former, I became painfully aware of gnawing hunger. When was the last time we had remembered to eat? And look at the thing! Fat, curvaceous, positively drowning in icing that smelled of peaches—

‘Ves?’ said the book, somehow, but it was addressing the cake, not the winged toad.

I mean, of course it was. If I’d had a choice, I would have gone for the cake, and never mind the consequences.

Griffins probably don’t even like cake, anyway.

I made some small attempt at a response, but that being as successful as my earlier efforts I gave up, and sat catching my breath while the book did its level best to engage the cake in conversation.

…Did I just say that?

Our adventures don’t get any more sensible, do they?

Some little time later, our courteous bucket-escort made a graceful dive, and carefully emptied us all out onto the ground again. There was grass under me, my exquisitely sensitive toes were quick to discern, but more than that I could not have said. The world was too big to admit of greater detail; everything beyond about three inches distant was a vague, green blur.

We sat there, the bucket, the book, the cake and I, and waited.

It was Jay who regained his usual form first. He’d been the bucket, not much to my surprise. I knew it was Jay, because the grass before my nose was abruptly obscured by a bluish haze I recognised after a moment as denim. Jay’s leg, encased in jeans.

‘Hi,’ I didn’t quite say.

Jay squinted down at us. ‘Ves?’ he said.

He was talking to the cake.

I waved a leg at him, and stuck out my tongue.

In another moment I was Ves-shaped-and-sized again, and having not had the sense to back up before my sudden transformation I found myself practically in Jay’s lap when it happened.

‘Ahem,’ I said, scooting backwards. ‘Welcome back, Mr. Bucket.’

‘At least it was practical,’ he said, frowning at me.

‘I had wings! It could have been worse. I could have been a flying fairy cake.’

Both of us looked at the cake, and then the book, wondering which was which.

I tell you what, if the cake had turned out to be Miranda I might have gutted her on the spot for the pure insult of it all.

Fortunately for her, the cake wriggled and wiggled and exploded into Emellana.

Two minutes later, the memorandum book (having sat impatiently shuffling its pages for some time) became Miranda, and there we were. She still had the pup in her arms, to my relief (what had Goodie been in this scenario, the bookmark…? I abandoned the question as it made my brain hurt).

‘Where’s Addie?’I said, seized by sudden panic.

Everyone looked wildly around, but no one came back with a response.

I remembered Wyr’s final words. How about we take that unicorn as payment? I had last seen her racing in Miranda’s direction, but what if Wyr had somehow intercepted her?

‘Hang on,’ said Jay, looking hard at Miranda (who lay prone, white with exhaustion and virtually insensible. I smothered a faint twinge of pity laced with guilt, for who had given her the task of shepherding all those griffins to freedom? Me, that’s who). Jay reached over and touched the shoulder of Miranda’s jumper. I detected the glint of metal.

It was a pin badge, the kind certain people wear on flat-caps. This one, though, was a tiny, dancing unicorn.

‘That’s not mine,’ said Miranda, frowning in puzzlement.

‘Let me have it,’ I said.

Mir carefully detached the badge, and dropped it into my hand. It lay in my palm, inert.

I put it on the ground, and took out my pipes.

‘Quickly, Ves,’ said Jay. ‘We need to be gone.’

I nodded. He didn’t have to tell me. We may have evaded Wyr and his lynch-mob but it wouldn’t take them long to figure out where we must be. Jay had taken us straight back to the henge-point through which we’d first arrived — courtesy of Wyr.

I played Adeline’s song on my little skysilver pipes — and suffered a severe shock. The music rang out, impossibly loud, amplified in both volume and magick beyond anything reasonable. Magick vibrated in my bones, shimmered behind my eyes, and gave me a blinding headache.

The badge at my feet didn’t so much melt back into Adeline’s warm, live shape as erupt into it. I was lucky I didn’t blow her to bits with my magick.

I stopped playing, and stuffed the pipes back into my bra, trying to look nonchalant.

No such luck. Jay, Emellana and Miranda were staring at me like I’d grown a second head.

Giddy gods, what if I had?

I checked. Just the one head.

All right, then.

‘So are we going?’ I said, and gestured towards the stone circle that stood quietly awaiting our getting our act together. I leaned carefully upon Addie, hoping it would look like affection and not like my knees were trembling so badly I knew I would fall over.

‘That tail you had is gone,’ said Jay, staring still at me. ‘And the flowers in your hair.’

‘And the hay,’ said Emellana.

She and I looked at each other. Emellana, ancient beyond reason and somehow unaffected by the magick of Vale.

And me, a spring chicken by her standards, but so overflowing with magick that Vale could no longer touch me.

‘It’s been an interesting day,’ I said.

Emellana’s smile was wry. ‘Let’s get these two out of here,’ she said.

Great thinking, for Jay’s eyes had turned gold (I hadn’t wanted to mention it), and Miranda, having slowly but steadily shrunk for the past ten minutes, looked likely to turn into a spriggan before my very eyes.

‘Are you okay to drive?’ I asked Jay.

He narrowed his weird, bright golden eyes at me, only now they were smoky-silver and swirling like clouds. ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’

‘Because you’re… never mind. Let’s just go.’

A short, turbulent while later, we were back in Scarborough, trudging down the hill from the henge-complex. Night had fallen with a crash, and Jay’s eyes really stood out in the darkness, I can tell you. They ceased gleaming after a while, though, and Mir regained her usual size. We were fine.

I, though, was still fizzing with magick. Outside of Vale, I noticed it rather more.

It itched.

‘I wonder,’ said I, halfway down the hill, ‘if Orlando has more of those panic buttons.’

‘I can’t say that the toad shape quite suited you,’ said Jay.

‘I can ask him for an adjustment.’

Miranda said nothing. I looked sideways at her without seeming to, noting the wan look of her, and her stumbling walk. Emellana, unruffled still, was visibly flagging, and Jay had the grim expression and purposeful walk of a man too dog-tired to dare let it show. Even Addie walked with drooping nose, her hoofs clicking softly on the pavement, and the pup had fallen asleep in Miranda’s arms long ago.

I knew how they felt, because I had felt the same an hour or two ago.

But that was before.

Now I felt fine. Now, I felt great. I was overflowing with energy, buzzing with purpose, lively beyond all conceivable reason, and my hunger was gone. I, Cordelia Vesper, hadn’t eaten all day and I didn’t want a thing. Not even a pancake.

Something was deeply wrong.

‘You okay, Ves?’ said Jay after a while.

I curtailed the jauntiness of my walk, and slowed my steps to match his. ‘Fine!’ I carolled.

‘I can see that.’

I felt rather than saw him exchanging a look with Emellana.

‘We’ll need food and sleep,’ I said briskly — remembering to say we instead of you.

‘We need to go home,’ said Jay.

‘What? No! We aren’t finished here. We still haven’t found out what became of Torvaston and Co, and what about the scroll-case?’

‘Later,’ said Jay. ‘We need to go home.’

‘But we’re fine. A solid night’s sleep and a hot meal—’

‘Ves,’ Jay interrupted. ‘You look like you could run a marathon at a sprint, climb Mount Vale, swim the channel and still be ready for more. Forgive me, but that is not like you.’

‘I—’

‘Ves.’

‘Yes?’

Jay stopped walking, and took my arm, forcing me to stop too. ‘You’re not fine.’

I swallowed. ‘I’ll be all right.’

‘Once we get you home. We need to find out just what the lyre did, and… mend the effects.’

‘You know what the lyre did. I told you.’

‘Turned you into some kind of human griffin? That doesn’t even make sense.’

‘Think of me as a power source. Like a battery.’

Jay grimaced. ‘Because that doesn’t sound broken at all.’

‘I’m not broken.’

‘Can we just go home, and sort this out? We can come back, and finish the mission later.’

Jay had stopped us on a street corner. They didn’t have street lamps in this version of Britain; light simply emanated from nowhere in particular, softly illuminating the cobblestones and aged brick around us — and Jay’s worried face, looking down at me. ‘Miranda and Emellana need some proper attention, too,’ he said. ‘And it’s probably not safe for Addie to stay here for much longer, what with everyone after her majestic hide.’

‘All perfectly true,’ I conceded. ‘So then, why don’t you take Addie and the ladies home, and I’ll wait for you here?’

‘How in hell does that make sense? Are you just being difficult, Ves, because I swear I’ll—’

‘I’m not being difficult,’ I said, cutting him off mid-rant. ‘At least, not on purpose. The thing is, I…’ I paused, and waited while a stout lady hastened past, an umbrella contraption floating along over her head. ‘I don’t think I can go home,’ I said in a small voice.

‘You don’t think you can?’

I nodded, my throat dry. ‘It… I felt all right, in Vale. Not… overcharged. The farther we get from Vale, the more overloaded I feel. Jay… our Britain is a magickal backwater compared to here. Remember what the woman in the elixir shop said?’

‘I remember.’ His voice was very grim.

I tried to smile. ‘I’m calibrated for Vale right now, if not more. Until it wears off, I daren’t go home for fear I’ll… explode. Or something.’

‘Or something.’

I shrugged. ‘Explode; warp everything I touch into winged toads or talking cakes or the gods-know-what; spend the rest of my days as a plate of pancakes; I don’t even know what will happen, only I’m pretty sure I don’t get to waltz Home and have a cosy chat with Milady, followed by a nice cup of chocolate. I’m stuck, Jay.’

He looked long at me, and I couldn’t read whatever thoughts were passing behind his (thankfully normal again) eyes. At length, he nodded. ‘I’m staying with you, then. Emellana can—’

‘I stay, too,’ she said, firmly.

Jay nodded again. ‘Very well. Miranda?’

She blinked vaguely at us, and I wondered how much she was even comprehending in her sleep-addled state. ‘Just let me sleep for twelve or fourteen hours, and I’m ready for anything.’

Adeline bumped me from behind, her nose velvet-soft against my neck. I wasn’t sure whether this was intended as a gesture of support or an objection, but I decided to take it as the former.

‘So, we go on,’ I said. ‘We’ve lost the scroll-case, but we have Mauf’s copy of the map.’

‘To the mountains, then?’ said Jay.

I nodded. ‘To Hyndorin — and, it’s to be hoped, Torvaston.’

‘And maybe along the way, we’ll figure out how to fix you.’ Jay gave me the confident, bracing smile of a man with faint hopes.

Later, I sat wide awake in an armchair while three people and a puppy slept deeply around me. We’d had money enough for a single room, and an extra set of blankets. Jay lay wrapped in the latter at my feet; Emellana and Miranda had the twin beds. The place was scant, sparse and comfortless, but it hardly mattered. In the morning we’d be gone, far over the country to the Hyndorin Mountains, and whatever horrors or delights awaited us there.

For me, though, sleep would not come. I sat curled up and shivering, chockful of magick, watching with idle interest as the chair warped and curled around me, and waited for morning.

***

I wouldn’t want to be Ves right now, would you?

We’re going on with episode 8 next week, but first a couple of quick reminders. You can get both The Wonders of Vale and the next adventure, The Heart of Hyndorin, in ebook, if you want to go on with the story right away.

I also like to leave my Patreon link here in case you’re interested in supporting the writer (thank you!). Over there we do previews of upcoming episodes, advance copies of all my books (Modern Magick & more), and exclusive short stories.

Ok anyway, on we go!

The Wonders of Vale: 19

Have you ever been played by a lyre? I’ll wager not. I don’t especially recommend it; at least, not by this specimen. If it must be so, try for a mild-mannered, grandmotherly type; the sort that will have you baking Victoria sponge cakes and puttering about in the garden.

Not the sort that will pump you full of all the magick it has been blithely soaking up until your nose bleeds. Not the sort that will use you and discard you like a sodding handkerchief.

When I took up that lyre, it was as though either I or it (or both) ceased to exist; instead of the-moonsilver-lyre or Vesper-Cordelia, there was simply a force. And while taking up the lyre had enhanced my mother’s and Emellana’s ability to track past magicks, or imbued one or the other of my parents with the ancient magick of faerie monarchy, in my case the effect was, um, different.

Forgive me if I sound deranged, for I doubtless was at that moment. In my case, the effect was to turn me into a magickal source all in my own self. I was, if you like, the human equivalent of a griffin or a unicorn.

I’d have laughed if I hadn’t been so busy leaking blood.

The lyre all but fused to my fingers, so that I could hardly have let go of it if I’d wanted to. And for a few agonising seconds, I desperately did, for it hurt. The lyre-through-me drank up every drop of magick in the vicinity (did I properly emphasise that this is a lot?), and then poured it forth again in a veritable ocean — only stronger, and… changed.

I learned how it feels, when lightning arcs over a griffin’s hide. I learned what it means. It is a discharge of magick, because there is too much of it to hold.

That hurts, too.

Vale lay spread before me, but I no longer saw it with my half-blind human eyes. I saw it as a pattern of magick; a map, if you like, of ancient power. I saw its centre: Mount Vale, and its colony of griffins. I saw pockets of intense magick dotted here and there; the unicorn farms, I judged, and the travel points, and other things I could not name. I saw its ebbs and flows, its strengths and its weaknesses.

Terrifying came the knowledge: I could have stretched out a hand and rearranged it like a chess board, if I had so chosen.

I didn’t so choose. All I wanted was Adeline. I found her: a mote of bright magick, purer than her peers, and in some odd way familiar. Around her crackled a web of magick: a net to hold her in, and all those like her.

I plucked her free of it, and then unwound the net. It came free easily enough, though every strand of it burned and blistered and I shuddered with the pain of it. Grimly, I ripped it into tatters and let it stream away, watching with distant satisfaction as the ribbons of magick dissolved back into the flow around Mount Vale.

Motes of bright magick scattered around me as the mythical beasts of Vale fled the town, free.

‘So that’s good, then,’ I said sleepily, looking wide-eyed up at the sky, for my shaking legs had long since found it impossible to hold me. The firmament was a spiral of magick, too, a shimmering, pulsing, coiling, glorious mass; even the clouds were laced through with it, pregnant with possibility.

I wondered, somewhere in my befuddled brain, whether our Britain looked at all the same.

I thought not.

‘Ves,’ someone said, but whoever it was must have been very far away. The wind took any words that followed, and I barely felt the hands that shook my shoulders.

I felt the teeth, though, that fastened onto my left wrist.

‘Ouch,’ I said, frowning, and looked vaguely about. Something bright and lovely was near me, contours of magick that were familiar and dear, for all their strangeness. I reached out my other hand to touch it, and felt warmth. ‘Addie?’

Ves,’ said the voice again, and it came from a coil of intense magick near my shoulder. Not bright like Addie, this one, but like banked heat.

It shook me again.

‘Mm,’ I said.

‘…the lyre,’ said the voice, distant but urgent. ‘Get the damned lyre off her!’

Another shifting something registered upon my senses: incandescent, this, in a muted way, like the sun behind a veil, and it glittered with such indescribable beauty that I was moved to tears.

‘She’s crying,’ said the urgent voice. Jay’s voice. Sense filtered, dimly, through.

‘She will be all right,’ said a dusty, aged, comforting voice, and Emellana’s age-withered fingers gently extracted the lyre from my hands.

Agony tore through me: first my arms, as though I had plunged them into molten lava. Then the rest of my shrinking body, as though my organs had been torn free of me all in a rush, leaving me naught but a shell.

What have you done?’ yelled Jay.

‘As you instructed,’ said Emellana, and even then, even in the face of my near-total disintegration, she was as cool as a clear lake. ‘She and the lyre are separating.’

Separating?’

I winced, for Jay spoke at such volume — and such close proximity, apparently — that the words shot through my seared head like nails. ‘Jay,’ I croaked.

He stopped shouting abruptly. ‘Ves? Are you all right?’

The magick was bleeding out of my vision, all the beauteous light and brightness and mystery leaking away, and my eyes filled with tears of mingled agony and loss. Through the watery film, I discerned the blurred figure of Jay bending over me: dark jacket, dark hair. Near him, a large mass of purple: Emellana.

‘Addie,’ I croaked. ‘Get your teeth out of my arm.’

She squeezed a fraction harder for good measure, then let me go. The pain of it had not much registered, compared to the indescribable torment imposed upon me by the lyre. Nonetheless, with the latter ebbing I was grateful to be reprieved of the smaller pain imparted by the diamond-hard teeth of a unicorn. ‘Thanks,’ I sighed, and ran my aching fingers through her mane.

She bumped me with her nose.

‘Are you all right?’ Jay said again, and with the tears in remission I could discern features. Dark eyes, wild with fear, fixed upon me, and a sheen of sweat upon Jay’s brow which told me he’d suffered almost as much as I had.

I thought about the question for a while.

‘No,’ I decided.

Jay sat back on his heels, and looked up at the sky — normal again, darkened and greyish and drizzly — with an expression of frustrated entreaty. ‘What the hell just happened?’ he said, looking again at me.

‘Do you want to tell him?’ I said to Emellana. I made some small effort to sit up, but finding it beyond the wasted strength of my aching muscles I permitted myself to slither back down to the ground.

‘She dissolved the net,’ said Emellana.

‘I see that,’ Jay said, and waved an arm wildly at the skies. They were, I distantly realised, empty of griffins, unicorns, or any other unusual creature. ‘But that’s not what happened, is it?’

I wondered how the events of the past… half hour? How long? Had looked to Jay. Not good. Not good at all.

‘It is as Milady suspected,’ said Emellana, with a crooked smile for me. ‘When combined, your Cordelia Vesper and the lyre are a formidable team.’

‘What?’ said Jay, his brow snapping down.

‘We’re a font,’ I said. ‘Like a griffin.’ I remembered the crackle of magick about me, and squinted down at my shirt and trousers. Were they singed?

They were.

I sighed.

‘I thought the lyre absorbed magick,’ said Jay. ‘Wouldn’t that make you a sponge, not a font?’

‘We’re both,’ I said wearily. ‘They’re both. The griffins and such. That’s how it works.’

‘Put enough griffins into a place like Vale, already a source of strong magick, and the effects are profound,’ said Emellana. ‘They feed each other, you see.’

‘I don’t think I do,’ Jay sighed. ‘What Ido seeis an exhausted Ves who, as far as I can tell, almost died about ten minutes ago, and who urgently needs to be got out of here.’

‘Wasn’t dying,’ I protested.

‘Pardon me, but you sure looked like it,’ said Jay. He was still wearing his worried face.

‘Wasn’t dying,’ I repeated firmly. ‘I was… changing.’

‘Into what?’

I sighed and sat up again. This time, the world did not revolve around me quite so much, and I was able to maintain the posture. ‘I don’t know.’

Truth. I could not say what had become of me; only I felt, all the way down to my bones, that I was not quite the same Ves anymore. That will happen to a girl, when you channel half an ocean of magick through her insides.

‘Milady,’ I said, as some of Emellana’s words filtered through to my weary brain. ‘Suspected? What?’

Emellana gave me that crooked smile again. ‘You heard me.’

‘How could she suspect?’ I said.

‘On what possible evidence?’ Jay added. ‘And why wouldn’t she just tell us.

I laid a hand over Jay’s, detecting signs of an imminent melt-down. ‘You’ll get used to Milady.’

‘But do I want to?’

Fair question. I couldn’t answer it.

‘She had no evidence,’ said Emellana, getting slowly to her feet. ‘It is more that she has… what might once have been termed “hunches”.’

‘And how do you know that?’ I said, eyeing our enigmatic assistant with some suspicion.

Emellana only shrugged. ‘I am old, and so is she. There has been time enough.’

‘For what?’

‘A great many things.’ She squinted out over the horizon, her back turned to me, and said: ‘I believe we are shortly to encounter trouble.’

I swore. Of course we were. If I’d had even half my wits about me I would have anticipated as much, for having just torn their intricate, powerful and surprisingly-not-that-old net of magick to bits, it ought to have occurred to me that someone would swiftly become aware of it. The circling motes of magickal energy that had been the enslaved mythical beasts were gone, and… we were still there.

‘Hup,’ I said, hoping that the word might prove a bit magickal in its own way, and help me to find my feet.

It did not, but Jay did. He grabbed my arms and hauled me, gently but firmly, upright. He then proceeded to prop me up when I threatened to fall over again, though I noticed a pronounced sway in his own stance, and that sign about his eyes that suggested imminent trouble.

Oh, yes. We were still potion-free and increasingly magick-drunk, too.

Rarely have I had the privilege to preside over so disastrous a mission, and that’s saying something. I am, after all, Princess Chaos.

‘Erm,’ I said intelligently. Was it my imagination or had I grown a tail?

I checked.

I had. Fittingly, it was a horse’s tail, or perhaps by preference a unicorn’s.

‘Better move along,’ Jay said. ‘Can you walk?’

‘Where’s Mir?’ To my shame, our erstwhile beastmistress’s entire existence had slipped my mind during all the excitement. Worse, I had about forgotten pup, too.

‘That way,’ said Jay, pointing with a jerk of his chin. ‘She was pretty busy with those escaped griffins.’

Right. Of course. I had given her rather a lot of work to do.

I risked a look over my shoulder, and detected a glimpse of a human figure some way off, blonde hair whipping in the wind, a tiny golden ball of fluff dancing along at her heels.

Before me, the slope of Mount Vale stretched down and down. I did not waste much time watching for the approach of danger; they would use the same “lift” we had, er, “enjoyed”, and come out right behind us.

‘Em, can you think of another way off this hill?’ I said.

‘Not immediately.’ When even Emellana Rogan showed faint signs of worry, well, that was about time for the rest of us to panic.

And I hadn’t forgotten how the Court-at-Mandridore’s emissary had appeared while the lyre and I had been making a magickal torch of ourselves.

‘By the way,’ I said. ‘Just how old are you?’

‘Another time,’ she said curtly.

Did that mean ask me later or I come from another age?

Too late to wonder, for a shout went up behind us, and a stream of people poured onto the hilltop, stepping, seemingly, out of thin air. There were at least twenty of them; they were of a mixture of human, troll, and other fae races I could not at that moment name; they were universally angry; and one of them was Wyr.

‘I want that case back!’ I yelled, pointing at the latter.

‘Well, and the good people of Vale were hoping not to lose their griffin carousel,’ said Wyr. ‘It seems we are all in for a disappointment today.’ No trace of his earlier sardonic humour remained; the look he directed at us was ugly.

I glanced left. Miranda was circling around to reach us, my pup in her arms.

‘How about we take that unicorn as payment?’ said Wyr, advancing upon us, his happy little lynch-mob at his back.

‘Ideas?’ I said desperately.

Emellana shook her head.

Jay, though, began to rummage furiously in his pockets. ‘The thing,’ he said, helpfully.

‘The what?’

‘Orlando’s thing. You know!’

Ohhh, the thing. The nameless-but-potent thing Orlando had put into our hands. The untried-and-only-sort-of-tested thing that might award us just the stroke of luck we needed to survive the day.

Or it might land us at the bottom of the ocean. I mean, if Orlando didn’t know, who did?

Nonetheless. ‘I’ve got it,’ I said, and stuck my hand in my shoulder bag.

‘Oof,’ said Mauf.

‘Sorry,’ I gasped. My fingers closed over the smooth, cool disc of something and I drew it out.

‘Next problem,’ I said, gazing at it in perfect incomprehension. ‘How does it work?’

Wyr-and-company were closing on us; Miranda was too far away to reach us in time; and I had no clue how to operate our panic button.

Did I use the word disaster before? I think I did.

‘Right,’ I said. ‘Addie, fetch Mir. Jay, Em, take a deep breath.’

The next article to exit my trusty shoulder-bag was my Sunstone Wand. I tossed Orlando’s toy into the air, levelled my Wand at it, and shot a blast of pure magick high into the sky.

It hit the clear disc in a shower of sparks, and the world exploded.